²Û²±²Û²ÛÛ²²Û²ÛÛ²²Û²²Û²²²Û²Û²²²Û²Û²²²²ÛÛ²Û²ÛÛ²²²Û²Û²²Û²ÛÛ²²Û²ÛÛ²²ÛÛÛ²²Û²Û²±²Û²Û²±²²Û²²Û޲۲۲۲ݱ±Ý±±²²Þ±±Þ²²±±Ý²ÝÛ²²Þ²²Û²²²Û²²Û²²Û²²²²²Û²²²±²Û²Û²Û²²²²²²Û²²²Û²²²Ûݲ²Ûݲ²²Þ²²Þ±Þ°Ý±Þݱ±Ý°Ý±Ý±±Þ°Þ±Þ²Ý±±Þ±±Ý²²ÛÞ±±Þ²²²±±Þ±±²Þ°Ý±±²²²±±Þ±±²²Û²Þ²²²Û²ÛÞ±²Ýޱݱ±Ý °ÝßÞ° ßÞ°°ßÞ°ÞÞÝÜß°°Ý±±°°Ý°Ý°Þ²²Ý°Ý±±±Þ°Ý°Ý°ÝßÝÞ°Þ±±Þ°Ý°°Ý±±±Ý±±²²²±±Ý°°± °° ß°Ü°ßÜßܲÝßܲÜßܲÜßܲÝ °Þ°ÝÜßÜÝÝ°±±°Þß °ÝÜßÜÜÞßܲÜßÜ°°ÝÜßÜÞßްްްݱݲް°Þ°°Ý°ßÝ°Ü ß ßßßßßßßßßßßßß²²²²ÞÞÝ°Þ²±²²°Þ°ÝÛ²²Þß²²ßßßßßßßßßß ß ßß²²±ß°°ÝÞÝÞ° ±Ýß°Ýß°°±ÝÜß Ü²²Üß²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ ß²Ü²Ýݲ±Ý±²Ý°ßܲ²±Üß ÜÜÛܲ²ÛÛÛÛÛÝÞÛ²ÜÜ ß²ÞßÜßÞß°Þ°ßܱßÜÜßݲ ܱ²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß±ÜÞ±ÝÞ±±ßܱ±°ß ²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛßÜÛÛ²²±°Ü ܱ±±Ü² ßܲÜÞ²²±ÝÜÝÜ°±±²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÛ°°ßÜ°°Üß°°ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÛ²±±°ÜÞ°°°±ÝÞ²²±² ±±°°°ÜÜ ß ßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÞ°° °°°°ÛÛÝÜÜßßßßßßßßßßßßßß ß ÜÜÛÛ°°± ²±²ÝÞ°ÜܲÛÜÜÜܲÜÜÜÜ°° °° °°°°°°°° °ÛÛÛ°±±°Û °°ÛÛÛ°°ÜÜÜÜÜܲÜÜÜÜܱ°° Û° °°°°°Û°±ÝÞ²± °ÞÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÛÛ²²ÛÛ²²ÛÜÜÜ°°°±±° °°°±ÞÞ°Û°° °ÝÛÛ°°²²ÛÛÛ²²ÛÛ²²ÛÛÛ²²ÜÜ°±°±±°°°°Û°± ±° Û²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²²±±±°°°°°±ÝÛÛ±°Û°° ±° ÛÛ°ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²²±±±°°°°± °ÝÞÞÛÛÛ²²ÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛ²²²±±±°°°±ßÞÞÛ²±°ÛÛ°±²Ý ßÛ°ß²²ÛÛÛ²ÛÛ²²ÛÛÛ²²ÛÛÛ²²²±±±°°°°ÝÞ.....small ansi by soul of folly of fool productions, 2018..................... °° ÞÛ°°°°° ÜÜÜ°°°°°°° Þ°° Ü°°°°°  Þ°° ÜÜÜ°°° ²²Üܲ²Ý ÛÝ ÞÛßß ÞÛ ÛÛÞÛßß   ÛÛÞÛÛÝÞÛ ²Û ÛÝÞÛ  Þ°Ý °  Ü°Û°°Û Þ°Ý °Ý   Þ²Ý ²Ý ²Û ±² ßß²²Ü ±²  ²²  Þ² ÜÜÜ Þ² ²Ý ²²  ßß²²Ü   °ÛÞ°Ý Û° Þ° °  ÞÛ  ÛÝ ÞÛÝ ²²ÜÜßß ÞÛ ÞÛ   ÞÛÛ°°°° °Ý Þ°  Û  ßÛÜ ²² ÞÛ ßÛÜ Û   ÛÝ   ²  ÞÝansi by ronald jßßßß ² ²²ÝßßßÛÝ   °²peppercorn.Þ²² °  Þ²° ² They say that you can't polish a turd, but we have ° been hard at work, on our hands and knees, putting in the elbow grease needed to make this seasonal collection really shine. I truly believe we can see our faces reflect in it! A lot has happened since MiSTiGRiS last showed its true colours (cyan and puce, mostly) back in April... so many people have joined. Even more have quit! Some of them managed to quit twice -- that's a neat trick if you can pull it off. We ran the numbers through VisiCalc and smoke started pouring out of the machine. (That's also a neat trick if you can pull it off.) Next time we try it we can invite the elites over and hotbox the data center with transistor fumes. But I digress. Wrestling with our burgeoning member list (due to the creative accounting of managing double-negative numbers) we found so many people wanted to be part of our stupid fun (huh, or was it our fun stupidity) we did what any cadre of elites would do and spun off the applicants to a trial division to use as a farm team: for no particular reason we've named them "FOOL: MiSTiGRiS TRiAL" (or MiSTRiAL for short). Only a couple of them have managed to come up with sufficiently head-scratching masterpieces for us to include in this collection, already abundantly populated with the latest advances in memetic warfare, but we're confident that in time they will win this race to the bottom, and having conquered failure by owning it, we will become undefeatable! Anyway, why speak on behalf of these definitely-existent non-strawmen, here we'll turn over a valuable slice of our widely-read newsletter to document their affairs:  ³ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ Ü Ý ÜÜÜ ³ ÜÜßßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÞÛ ßÛ Û Û Û ÛÝÞÛÝ ß ÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÜßÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛßßÜÜÛ³Û ÞÝÞÛ ßß Û Þ ÛÝ ßÛÜÜ ³ÜßÜÛÛÛÛÛÛßßÜßß³ÞÛÝ ÛÛ ÛÜÜÜÛ ßÜßÜÛ ÞÜ Û ³ÝÛÛÛÛÛ²ßÜßßÞßßßÝÄÄÄÄßÝ ßßßß ßßß ÞÞÛÛÛ²ßÜÛßÛÞÞÛÝÝÚÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍËÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ¿ ÝÛÛÛ²± ßÜÛÞÝÛÛÞ³³³ ÞÞÛÛ²±°ÜÛÛß ßßÝÞßÛÛÜÜßßßßÜÜ ÞÞ²Ýݳ SUBJîCT ÄËÄ ïîW PACK ³ ÞÞÛ²±° ÛßÜÝÜÛÛÛÛÜ ÛÝÜÛÛÛÛÜÞÛÝÛ±Þ³ ²±ÝÛÛÜÞÜÜ ÜÜÜÜÝÜÜÜÜÛßÛÜ ³ ÞÞ²±° ßÜßÞÞ²ßÜÜ ²ÝÞÞ²ßÜÜ ²ÝÛÞ±ÝÝ| °³ Þßß±ÛÛݱ²ÛßßÛ° ß  ßÝ | ÞÞ±° Þß Ý±± ÛÝÞ±Ýݱ± ÛÝÞ±ÝÝÛ°Þ ÜÜÜßßÝ ú ³ ß ²ÛßßÝ ÝÜ ú ݲ° ÝÝ ÞÞ°ÝÞßÜ°°ÞÞ°ÝÞßÜ°°ÞÞ°ÝÛÜßßßÜÜÜßÜþ .. ݱ ÛÞ ÝßÛÜÛÛßÜÜÜßÛÜÜÛßÜ ÛÛÛÜÜÛÛßßÜÜß øWhere Am I? Why Am I ø ÞÞ°ÛÝÝ ßßÜÜÜÜß ßÜÜÜÜß ßÜßßßßÜÜßß­Using Technology From 20  ÞÞ ÛÞßßßßoYears Ago? Can Someone ÝÛÛÝÝPlease Contact My Family?  ÝÛÛÞ MiSTiGRiS Was Bad Enough, Now They're Subjecting Me To Further ÞÞÛÝÝ Degradation As Part Of FOOL? Please Send Help If You Can Before It's ÞÞÛÞ Too Late. Trace My IP Address, We Don't Know Where We're Being Held.  ÝÝÝ  CIAO FELLOZzzz !!! ÞÜÝ Well, that got dark quickly! A little bit of what the kids these days like to refer to as "fake news". We reassigned the teams a little bit and they extended this far more coherent missive: -[ original ansi by ic ] - °° ±± ²²² ic -[ The Lavendar Menace the fucking RIPPER!'s version ] - °° ±± ²²²Û tLm
-[ cut here ] - Well, that definitively settles the matter! OK, computer art fans, I think we've just about gotten the scoop about MiSTiGRiS and FOOL, what are we missing? Oh, of course, they had one more critical message to pass along: Ü° ßß° ÜÜÜßßÜÜÜ °ßß²ÜÜßßÛÜÜ Ü°°ÜÜÜÜßßß ßÜÜÜ°° ßß²ÜÜßÛÛÜÞÞ²ÝÝ ÞÜÜÜÜÜ ÞܲÜÜܲ²ßßÞ²ÝÜÜßÛÜ°° Þ²ÜÜÛßß ÞÜܲßßß °Ü²°ÛÛÜ°°ÜÜ°ÜÛÜÝ Ü ßß ÜÜÝܲ²²±ÛÛÞ²Û ÜÛß°° ÜÜÛܲßß ßß Þ²ÝÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÞ߲ݰÜÛß ÜÝ ÜÜßß °ÜÜÛ²°ßÛÛÛÝÝ ÜÜ²ß ÜÜÝܲ²ÜÜÛ ß°ßßßÝ Ü ÞÛßÝ$$%^&#$^&*±ÝÞÜÝ Û ÞÞ²Ý Ü²²ÛÛß°ßßÛÛßß Üܲ²ÛÛÜ°ÜÛÛÝÛ ÛßßßÜÜÜÛßß °Ü ÞÛ² $#%&^*^&*(ÛÝ ÞÝÝÞÛÝ ß° ²ßßÛßÞß°ÜÜÛÜÛÛ²ßÛÜÛÝÜÜÜÛÛ²ßß²ÜÜÜ ßß ÜÜÜÛßß °²°$%^&*$&*^!Ûß° Þ²ÜÜÛÛÜ ÞÛ ÞÛÜܲÛßßßÜÜÜÜÛÝ °²Û²ÛßÛÜÛßßÜÜÜÜÜßßß ÜÛßÛ$%&^*$%!Û²Ü ßßßÛÜÛÜÛÝ Û°ßß ÜÜÜܲÛ²ÛßßßÜßÛßßÛÜÞ²²ÜÜÛßßßÝ Ü ß ÞÛÝ$%^*&$%!ÛÛÛÛÝ Ü²ß Û²° ÜÜßß ÜÞÞÛ±²ÛÝßß Üßß ÜÛßÞßÛßÞÛÝß°ÜÜÛß °ÜÜ Û²°Û$%*&($$* °Ý ß °ÜÞÛÜܲÝ ÛÛ²ßß²ÛßÝß²ß Ü²ß ÞÜÛÝÜÛÜÛÜÜÛß ÜÜÜÛßß °²ÝÛ$%%&(*$%*(°Ý ÞÜß° ÜßÞ²Ý Ûß Þ²ßß²ßß Üß ÜßÛ²ÝÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÛ²ßß °²ÝÛÛÛ°ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÞÝ °²Ý ß²Ý ßßÝÞÝ ßÜÛß°ß²ßÞÞ²ÛÛÛßÝÝßßÜÜÜ °ß ÜÛÝ°°Þ±ÛÛÛÛ°ÛÛÞ²° Ü °²Ü°ÝÛÜ ß ß ÜÛß°ÜÜÜܲßßÜݲÜÛ²ßß ÞÛ²ÜÞß²ÛÛÛÛ±Ûܲß ß²ßÞÛß޲߲ßÜÜÜܲ²°ÜÛßßÜÞÜßßßߧwhangomacko ßÛ۲ݲ²ÜÜܲßßÞÝܲÝÞÝ Ü°ÜܲÛ²±ÛÛÝÝ Ü Ü²²ßß Ý²Û°² ܲÜÜÛÛÛ²ÛßßßÛÛÛß°° °ßß²ÛÞÝ ß° ²ÛÛßß°ßßß ° ß ß°Û²ß°ßß ° ß ß Wow, sounded like a whole termite mound full of robot insects gnawing at a giant sheet of plate metal! Like a firecracker-triggered percussion instrument playing a wild solo. Like a dot-matrix printer... you know, printing.  I, for one, will definitely be sleeping better at night knowing that this matter has safely been put to bed. (Or is it ... the matter, put to bed, will be sleeping better... knowing that I... no, wait...) Doesn't make much sense, does it? Yeah, that's par for the course. But it looks and feels like an infofile, which is about the only metric by which these things are measured. Is it about time to wrap up this confusing joke and bring it on home? Why not -- there are at least a few jokes in this collection funnier than this one. (Hopefully, because this joke just ain't funny!) THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE! Fooling all of the people all of the time: ÛßÜßÛ Û ÛßßßÛßßÛ Ûßß ÛßßÜ Û ÛßßÛßßÜ ÜßßÜ ÜßßÜ Û Ûßß Û ß Û Û ßÛ Û Û Û Ü ÛÜÜÛ Û ßßÜ ÛÜÜß Û Û Û Û Û ßßÜ Û Û Û ÜÜÛ Û Û ßÜÛ Û ßÜ ÜÜÜÜÜÛ Û Û ßÜÜß ßÜÜß ßÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ getting lard without boiling the hog  whole ansi art piece drawn by ronald j peppercorn. Thanks to all our guest contributors, the Misters and the Girls, and to the Fools who have found themselves rudely ripped out of their place in time to dance, caper and cavort for hitherto unimagined generations. The joke may not have been funny, but at least it wasn't un-funny, y'know? See you in May and hope the transition into business as usual isn't too awkward... just awkward enough! °²°° ansi° °° °°Ý° °°°°°°ÜÜÜ°°°ÜÜÜ °°Üß°°ßÞ°ß ßÝ°²² Þ°ß°  Þܲܰ °± Ýß °ßÜ ß °°ÜÜÜÛß²²°°ÛÜÜÜß ÜÜÜ °°Ý °ÞÜ ° °Ü ßÜ ßßÜ°° ÜÜßßßÛÛÛÛÛ°°ÛÛ°² ÜÜßÛÛÝß °Þ °°°°ÛÞÝÞÝÜ ß Ü²²°ÛÛ°°°°°ÛÛÛÛ°°²ÞÞÝ ÞÛ²° °°Ý ° °°²ÝÞÛ Û²°°Üß °°ÛÛÛÛ°°°ÛÛÛÛÛÛ°±  ßÜÛßÞ²° ÜÝ ß°° ÞÝÛß ßÛÛ±±°°ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ°ßÛÜÜܲ²Ü°ß Þ Ûß °° ßßÛÛ²²²ÜÛÛÛÛ°°ÛÜßßßßß ÜÞ° °°ßßßßß²²±±°°°Ûßßß °ÛÛ²° °° °°²ßß°° / eYE'M a fIZNATCH! SAUCE00MiSTiGRiS FOOL MiSTRiAL iNFOFiLE k-thulu+++ MiSTiGRiS 20180217.HP¬IBM VGA