roarshack80@yahoo.com

you might be thinking "What in the stupid of all fucks am I looking at?"
to help explain, take a look at a confusing index!

i.

iNDEX:
i. index
ii. explanation (sort of)
iii. a story that starts off with
me talking about someone you
don't know, then sort of goes
in another direction for some
reason.  i was trying to come
up with a parallel between ansi
and graffiti, and really just
thinking the more i talk about
it, the more it would make sense.
but then it started to NOT make
sense to me, because i wouldn't
stop writing about this comparison,
and i turn into some sort of un-
stoppable rambling moron.  it's
not really that significant to
what this really is.  but i'll leave
it for you to decide hoping that
maybe it does make some kind of
sense.
iv. explanation, part 2: the how's
and the why's.
v. epilogue to the prologue

explanation (sort of)

the spring 2013 blocktronics pack was my first time releasing anything since
the summer of 1999.  i'm not going to sit here and go on and on about this
and that.  (actually, i sat and wrote, and re-wrote the intro about a dozen
times.  then i'd read it the next day and think "what is wrong with me??")

so to sum up the incessant rambling: releasing in the blocktronics pack
really took me back to my time in the ansi scene.  just seeing other pals,
and seeing their new artwork really made it feel the same way it did when
i first started out.  so basically all i wanted to do was sit and draw ansi
non-stop 24 hours a day to compensate for time missed.

but there's one big difference between this millennium filth, and last mill-
enium filth.  the same as it is with all of you: time.

example:

/WiFE/ oh, sweetie!  i need you to run to the drug store and pick up
the brain medication for our son.  luv ya!

/HUSBAND/ mmmm?  uh, ok dear!  just give me a like five minutes (aka:hours)
to finish this drawing!!

[ONE WEEK LATER]

/WiFE/ well, just got back from the doctor.  because you neglected to go
get the brain medication for our child, he started acting up again
and ate two rolls of quarters.  the doctor won't operate because
you lost your insurance from not going to work.  he said we have to
wait for him to poop out them out.   he's only up to about
$2.86.  which is strange since he only ate quarters.

/HUSBAND/ HEY, HONEY!!  WE JUST GOT OPPERS BACK!@  AHAHAHA!!

hmm, well obviously i'm not married so the dialogue may be a little in-
accurate.  but you get my point.

i really could not shake the urge to draw.  i would constantly take a break
from drawing the artwork for the b7 release, and just sort of randomly draw
anything.  sort of like sketching in a sketchbook.  (a quick fyi: i'm totally
on board with using a mouse to draw ansi.  i know people think that's a
little like cheating, but hey, we paid our dues.)  and i started thinking
about how some of this stuff is sort of neat.  but it was a little too basic
to release in art pack with artists who have been pioneering the act of
keeping shit real and pushing the boundaries further.  i didn't really think
they'd serve much use to anyone anyway since they were just sort of quick
half-finished 'sketches'.  plus they seemed like the kind of thing that would
seem lazy and half-assed for someone like me to release after not releasing
a single thing for so long.

around this same time, i was out to lunch with some friends, and someone told
me about this mobile app: SketchBook Pro, by Autodesk.  so i downloaded it and  started playing around with it.  the first thing i drew was a sort of sketch/
understructure of this girl across the street sweeping a store front.  and
because ansi has a way of really getting into your creative thought process
i started thinking about the line tool, and the square/circle tool in pablo-
draw.  (using the mouse, of course)  so like anyone with a touch of artistic
urges, i started ignoring my friends and i drew another sketch, a waitress.
then another, a guy walking his dog.  another, old couple walking down the
street.  and another, and another, and another...

when i got home, i realized i had about a dozen or so of these basic poses
of people on the street.  i opened up pablodraw and tried to emulate the
poses and understructure of people i had drawn earlier with sketchbook pro:

i know you might be thinking "ok, grandpa, settle down.  drawing ansi with
the mouse isn't that impressive.  take your meds and go argue with the
garbage cans again..."

but just like the urge from when i first finally started to somewhat under-
stand to basics of drawing ansi, i couldn't stop.  so i tried taking it a
little further:

(you can understand by this why i'm releasing this collection as
a solo pack, and not in a b7 pack.  :)

and that was it.  i had originally wanted to release a solo pack of more
refined ansi's that i started back before i really had contact with the
b7 squad called "CRiME".  but the time factor was preventing me to do so.
i didn't want to just show up with three fully finished pieces and put out
a solo pack.  and i knew i'd never have the time to actually be content with
what i had.  but with these 'sketches', i found i could crank them out a lot
faster.  and with an abundant amount of them in the same fashion, it could
actually be a presentable solo release.  i didn't have to sit and spend an
hour trying to get a characters fucking eyeballs just right.  by calling
them 'sketches' i could satisfy (or cheaply justify) myself by going:
= eyes.  done!  plus, i could still find the time to actually
work on group-worthy pics.  i also found that by doing these, they served
as a nice break from time when i'd get stuck on something and just didn't
want to look at it anymore, while still keeping the creative momentum going.

as far as other solo packs out there, this really isn't a stand out type of
thing.  but i'd like to think of it as something different.  it'll only take
about five minutes to go through leaving you thinking "it took me longer to
read the fucking info file that went on and on into nowhere!" but i hope you
do get a kick out of it.

also, just to put it out there about the ansi scene (and the old intro i
wrote and re-wrote over and over trying to stress the capacity of what we
did, and are continuing) and how i believe it's a little more than a bunch
of asshole drawing pictures.  i gave up trying to put it into words, but
if you're reading this, then you must be on some similar level of what i'm
trying to get at.

re-connecting with old doodleboys via facebook (first we take over bbs's,
then irc, now facebook.  UNSTOPPABLE!) i noticed one common thing a lot of
people (myself included) reflecting on: how they were good times.  and how
it seemed like so much more than just drawing pictures and acting like
assholes.  how it's funny, but knowing people in the scene, without actually
meeting face to face, seemed like you really knew them.

and there is a lot of good reason for that.  everything we ever made is still
there.  you can't really say that for a lot of things you did ten, fifteen,
twenty years ago with people you know every well, and never met.  it's
chunks of creativity from so many different types of people preserved forever
in digital format.  another great thing is, we don't really give a fuck if
it's only seen by a small percent of people.  but that small percent of
is a lot more than most people can say they did in their entire life.  (i'm
not talking about people who go on and make careers in various artistic
outlets.)  i'm talking about this small group of people who came out and made
an entire scene out of basically nothing.  it happened, and it continues to
happen, because WE are making it happen for us without ANY outside influence
at all.  it's been over twenty years.  the population may not be as big,
the creative energy still is.  this isn't some cheesy artistic revolution.
we've controlled the way things go since day one.  we're the only ones who
actually do this, and in turn, enjoy it.  and we've done a pretty fucking
good job doing so.

iii.

an attempt at finding a reference to explain
the need for art that people don't need, but
others need to do for themselves and to share
with other like-minded artists who understand
the need for creative outlet.

i'd say it was most likely the fifth round of smorgasbord of drinks and shots
when ____ finally caves and answers a question someone asked him two hours
ago.  up until then ____ would answer the question i'm sure he's been asked
a million times before: "i dunno what the fuck you're talkin' about.  maybe
it was spiderman." which he'd say while doing that "you know it's me" shrug
of the shoulders.   the question in question?  'how in the fuck did you tag
the top of the 10th street bridge?'

____ was a pretty high profile graffiti artist years ago.  well, actually,
he personally kept a low profile, it was his tags and graffiti throughout
the city that had the popular reputation.

the city that ____ and i live in has around 450 bridges within the city
limits and surrounding neighborhoods.  not only the home to the most bridges
in america, but in the entire world (venice comes in a close second.)  with
buildings holding the first place positions for graffiti hotspots, i'd say
bridges come second.  city bridges wouldn't look like city bridges if they
didn't have an onslaught of graffiti on them.  styles spanning from random
gibberish, to full on pieces - bridges are camouflaged in graffiti.

so it's not all that daring or ballsy to walk alongside a bridge and hurry
to put something up when you have cars whizzing by you, or swarms of people
walking around.  aside from just doing cool writing, it's not all that big
of a deal when people do graffiti on a bridge unless they figure out a way
to go up and beyond what everyone else has done.  ____ figured out a way to
do such a task.  he climbed up to the very top, and repelled down the mother-
fucker.

that's a mostly anonymous dedication right there.

every city in every country is covered in graffiti.  we all know this.
everyone also knows that cities (particularly larger cities) consists of three
things: lots of buildings, lots of people, and lots of graffiti.

what everyone doesn't know, is the difference between the good shit and the
bad shit.  grabbing a can of spray paint and spraying some run of the mill,
obscure word or trying-too-hard gibberish on alley side of a building is
nothing more than insipid vandalism.  there's no point (good or bad) behind
it.  the only purpose it serves is to feed the fire of people who take a
stand against city and public vandalism.

if you're reading this, then you must have some interest in the underground/
subculture of the art world and know what i'm talking about.  which also means
that you may from time to time see something remarkable spray painted on a
wall, or train, or bridge, or billboard, or other structures that really stand
out from the generic and saturated bullshit you usually see everywhere.

you may have a high appreciation and respect for some of these things knowing
the craft behind it all that a lot of other people don't see.  and i'm talking
about actual pieces people put out there.  the ones with an array of vibrant
colors and composition.  respecting the craft isn't just about thinking "hmm,
yeah.  that's cool." it's about understand the steps it takes to actually do
that.  taking time to do these massive pieces in secret, usually solo, and
making something out of very simple tools: spraypaint.  and it's not just
about the process of doing something like that and creating something
incredible right in the face of people and city officials.  it's the purpose.

people do this type of thing for one reason: their imagination and love of
creativity is too massive to be put down on paper to be easily forgotten over
time, so they put their thoughts visually out in the open for people to see.
and they're not doing it to be popular.  they're not doing it to so people
will think they are this super hot-shot artist.  99% of the people who see
these large displays of personal creativity have absolutely no fucking idea
who the person is behind it, and never will.

[not pictured: a good example of graffiti]

at some point in every single person's life, they have that "hey, wouldn't
be cool if i was a rockstar?" sort of fantasy.  why?  because music is cool,
and making cool music makes YOU look cool.  you want to be known and
associated with doing something most people can't.  but with a lot of
graffiti, people are doing this solely for the purpose of doing it.
they care more about creativity then they do about popularity.  and typically,
the only people who DO know who did that are most likely friends and/or other
people who do that type of thing.

they are involved in an underground art scene that only runs by those who
are involved.  a scene where you can't buy your way in.  a scene that if
you want to be a part of it, you only have to do one thing: be a part of it.
put your time in.  understand the craft and the complexities behind it.  do
it because it's something you enjoy, and enjoy sharing it with like minded
people.  it runs because it's something awesome and a lot of people can't
do it although they respect it, and what goes into it.

it's the type of scene where those who put a lot into it, get a lot out of it.
the type of thing where you can show people what you can do, and they have
no clue at all what you're fucking talking about.  but it's certain- art is
art, and all people enjoy art.  they can't fully understand because they
don't fully understand how you're doing this, and how so many people scattered
through the world are all connected. (may not be in the millions, but still
impressive.)

i can dig it.

^^i hope you see where i'm going with these^^
even though they look more like tubes of paint
and water bottles.

vi. the how's and whys:
an etiquette on justifying
laziness through "trying
something different."

i wanted to use a different technique when doing something different.  one of
the main reasons i wanted to do this, was to have a few restrictions and/or
rules.  the one main rule:

THERE ARE NO RULES!

actually, i'm kidding.  there are several:

// no using arrow keys.  mouse only.
// only using the line tool, circle and square tool, and basic functions such
as fill and erase.
// using the first two methods, the half blocks: ▀,▄,▌,▐ and ■ are elim-
inated.  however, ░,▒ and ▓ can be used with line tools.
// i didn't set any type of time limit on these.  but i tried not to spend
too long on one drawing.  eliminating the need to get something "just
right".  plus it gives it a more 'sketch' look.
// don't sweat the details.  you'll notice that some of these are very basic.
a few lines here and there to look like a body.  and others are more
rendered.  it really just depended on how fresh the actual details were in
my head.  on top of that, the majority of these are small scales.  sitting
here trying to get a face, or a pose to look good takes a lot of time,
and beats the purpose of the 'sketch' (aka lazy) feel.
// monochrome drawings.  aside from a few highlights here and there, every-
thing is drawn on a single colored background.

(as far as the color scheme for these, totally random.  i initially meant
to do 7 sets of 1000 line drawings alternating between two colors to a set.
i decided against that, because it would be another thing that'd i'd spend
way too much time on, most likely resulting in half-assing it to get it
finished and out to the presses.)

v. epilogue to the prologue

these really are nothing more than just a fun excersize in trying something
different.  is it pretentious to just sort of drop in after so long, release
a few things, and pop this out?  i guess that's your call.  did i have to
google 'pretentious' to make sure i'm spelling it right?  you betcha.  so
that's how that goes.

so i hope you enjoy the next five or so minutes deciphering what it is
exactly you're looking at.  and a very big thank you for spending time
checking them out.  if, for whatever reason you'd like to use any of the
following pics for whatever you might need monochrome ansi's for, feel free
to use them.

cheers!

// filth (or as you may only know me on social networking under the moniker
'joshua hillyard')