Yes, thats right folks. SUPERnews. Thats what we've got for you this month.   ▀▀So much in fact, that i wont even list it all here. I wont even list 1/3 of
it here! But if you act now, you can get the rest of it for a mere $19.95!!!
Isnt that incredible! You too can have this much news for such a low price.
Listen to what some of our satisfied customers have said so far :

<mr_wrong> I couldnt believe it! Ive never seen this much news at this low of
a price! I told all my family about it and now, they too are getting SUPERnews!
Thank You SUPERnews!

<fluor> SUPERnews helped me get through some rough times in my life. Without it,I would just be another nobody. SUPERnews is great.

<menace> I am a teacher at a local junior high and we distribute SUPERnews to
each one of our classrooms. The kids seem to get a real kick out of it.
Sometimes they'll even blink. I recommend SUPERnews to everyone!@

<zippy> SUPERnews adds the best touch to your sexual life! Yeah, that's right!
Want to have the greatest orgasm of your life? then buy SUPERnews...

So there you go. Proof that SUPERnews really is lending out a helping hand all
over the world. And with every million dollars we recieve here at SUPERnews,
we ship, straight to Somalia, a can of beans. A WHOLE can of beans you ask?
YES. A whole can of beans. So dont feel guilty about purchasing your copy of
SUPERnews. Now you know it goes for a good cause. Whats that you say? You want
a preview of this o' so glorious SUPERnews? Well, i guess we can give you that.
The following is an excerpt from our latest article entitled :

"Fokus fonting..do the germans pronounce it FUKUS?!"

"..Welcome to Fokus fonting's second package. Not alot has gone on this month,
but still we must write this newsletter. First off, one of the biggest changes,
our most favorite ascii doodlin' bot master Deviant left us so he could spend
more time with his future projects. We all wish him good luck in his future
endevours.
On the flip side, the awesome rip artist known as Fat pacifist joined our
ranks, look for his great works in future packs. Everyone else is being held
captive by NATO and searched for bombs. We're still not sure if Crimson Skye
has been released, but we've heard rumors he's been seen around.
Our web site is currently under construction, and will be up shortly. Nothing
fancy, just a place to get packs. If you would like to become a member of our
elite force, you can reach us at fokus@antisocial.com. Be sure to send us a
sample of your current works... Also, thanks to Deviant and Emok who guested
with us this month"

So what do ya think? Worth spending your hard earned $19.95 on? We thought so
too. Now pick up the phone or write to us at the address mentioned above.
We're waiting to hear from you, now do what is right. Become a member of the
most talked about news of the millenium. SUPERnews. You wont regret it.

--copyright 1999 knocturnal enterprises. All names are innocent until proven
guilty. Unlawful copying of this newsletter will result in a maximum fine of
$10. Littering is bad. Dont do it. And remember, always wear your seatbelt.--