iCE iCE iCE iCE iCE iCE █░██   █▒██ ▄▀▄     ▓█░█   ██▄ NFO NFO NFO NFO NFO NFO

J  A  N  U  A  R  Y      1   9   9   8

1.  Welcome to the greatest show on  earth, folks!  It's  Slothy here,  manning
the boom  mike as your  DJ for the affair.   Watch out for Boa,  he's recording
every  word spoken  with  his concealed  hat-mic  and  pocket  recorder.   This
paragraph causes the  reader to glean no  information -  it's good practice for
the standardized tests reading portion.   The test questions below do not apply
this portion.

2.  To kick off the  new year (quoted  incorrectly by some  as the  year of the
tiger, but we all know that it's really the year of the iCE), we're ecstatic to
welcome eight new artists this month.   That's right!   In the ANSI Department,
I'd like  to personally  welcome  Count Zer0  to our  team!   Now, for  the new
additions to  the VGA Department  (here goes in  alphabetical order): Fire From
Heaven, Ian Dale, Mli,  Psyanide, Steven  Stahlberg,  Trauma, and  last but not
least, Tim Wallace.  All of these guys & gals are absolutely fantastic (like we
would  have anything else... )  and I think they'll  turn some heads for a long
time to come.

3.  We have to  sadly wave  goodbye  to mr4tune, who  was accidentally  dropped
while attempting a death-defying show of being hung by his toes from the top of
our radio station, K RAD.  We even played a  Live & Accoustic  version of "Mmmm
Bop" in mourning for his loss.

4.  We're kicking  off a brand new funk  in the group this month!  Every month,
one artist  will be awarded the title of  "Artist of the Month(tm)".  Thank God
for  well-paid   marketing  teams to come  up with our  Catchy Names(tm).   All
artists  who are  awarded the  "Artist of the Month(tm)"  go through a rigorous
ceremony.   First they put on  their  Burger King  crown, then  they stand in a
chair while everyone  sings the  "Artist of the Month(tm)"  song.   It's a very
cheery tune that is about noodles and cupcakes and other happy things!
Anyway,  the  first  artist to  receive  this  terribly  exciting  title is the
brand-new,     all-natural,     cuts-through-a-lead-pipe,     no-preservatives,
Count Zer0!   Everyone cheer for his majesty  (I left that out... the Artist of
the Month(tm)  must be  referred to as  "his/her majesty"  for the  duration of
the month).

5.  We are officially  announcing that we  have been working for some time on a
brand new web site,  with MUCH more content  and eyecandy galore.  We will leak
some more information in the coming months.

6.  That's all  for this month,  folks!  Remember  that this is  only the first
pack of 1998 - just wait to see what we have in store for you!

-Lord Soth

Cold and Ugly           Force Ten           Mass Delusion