Warpus (function)
Quip (function)

D  A  R  K0  4  /  9  8    N  E  W  S  L  E  T  T  E  R

Welcome to the April Edition of the Dark Collection!
Once again I've shouldered the loathsome task of writing up the NFO
file.  Joy to the @#$*'n! world, eh?  Luckily there are enough changes and
happenings that need listing to spare you all a flowery intro about my
return to Senior Staffdom in Dark Illustrated.  (However, to squash
any unlikely rumours:  it has nothing at all to do with aiding the
'art scene revival'.  *My* concern is for Dark and Dark alone.  It's a
family of sorts, and I take care of my own.)

Nuff said.

Xypher Matryx, Dark Senior Staff

Latest Events...

Lots of ground to cover here, so let's get started:

-  First and most importantly, be aware that this is Dark Illustrated's
*LAST* monthly pack.  We're re-establishing our original bi-monthly
schedule in order to improve the quality and quantity in our Collections.
This means you'll see a full group representation with every pack,
superior quality in the art, and eventually a new format for viewing.

Expect the next pack to appear *promptly* on July 1st.  (DARK0698.ZIP)

-  We bid a sad farewell to Kitiara, our ANSI Coordinator.  She has other
more important things on her mind, and we respect that deeply.  Best
wishes from all us Darkies, Kit.

(As yet, we haven't elected a new ANSI Coordinator.  Those interested,
apply within.)

-  Also venturing off is Egoteq, forming his own new group and hoping to
stun the scene.  Best of luck from all of us, and a reminder that you're
always welcome home.  [We have beer.] ;>

-  For whatever reasons, newcomer Atom was forgotten from last month's
memberlist.  *I* blame the chicken grease smothering Corinthian's monitor,
but hey, that's speculation.  Regardless; welcome to Dark, Atom!  You'll
be a bonafide fatty in no time.  [Before partaking in our new Dark
Weight Loss program, all members must, logically, be fat.]

-  Those familiar with Dark Collections may have noticed that Darkview
wasn't included.  No, it wasn't an accidental omission.  After careful
consideration, we've retired the old warhorse.  (Those of you with pack
size issues will rejoice in a 300K reduction.)  [Phase 1 of the Dark
Weight Loss program.]

-  Long-range radar has detected a robotic entity roaming about the
vicinity.  Could it be... Carnifex?  (That or the trace signals from
Burnout's stomach after eating the entire cast of "Lost in Space".
[Due to this, Phase 2 of the Dark Weight Loss program is on hold.
Apparently, poor ol' Boh as a Robinson stuck in his colon.])

-  darkillustrated.org is experiencing the dreaded Technical Difficulty
disease.  Please bear with us as we attempt to resolve the matter.

-  Dark's favorite Annoying-Second-Cousin Group, the Twisted Fishies
have a web site up at coresite.ml.org/twistedfishies.  Check it out,
groupers!

-  Think your group is badass?  Care to test your "skillz" against Dark's
CTF squad, the Fierce! Platoon?  Bring it on, giblets!  We're issuing
a challenge to you art clique mofos.  Fierce! vs. You-and-Your-Flunkies
in Quake 2 Capture-The-Flag combat.  Send your acceptance speech to
Xypher Matryx (xmtrx@interlog.com).  (We might have a Starcraft legion
together soon as well.  Stay tuned.)

-  We'd like to say "Thank-You" to Function members Quip and Warpus for
the funky logo (see above) in their premiere pack.  We'd _like_ to.
But we're too busy eating.  (Weight Loss.  HAH!)  ;)

Dark Filename Conventions...

Filenames work like this:  XXXXX-##.*

XXXXX is a five-letter abbreviation of the artist's alias.  (Should the
alias fall within five characters or less, the entire alias will be used.)

## represents the current number of pieces the artist has produced the
year of release.

* can be any valid extension for images, executables, data files, or
musical compositions.  The most common are DRK for ansi images including
JPG/GIF/BMP/etc for high resolution graphic images, and MOD/S3M/XM/IT/etc
for music data files.

Disk-lamers...

The two .IT (Impulse Tracker) music files within are a part of a silly
little "Southpark Kung-fu" music project, aborted early on to prevent
permanent aural damage.

The first release was Epitaph's "Southpark Kung Fu" mix, using a basic
loop devised by yours truly.

The second release, my "Southpark Kung Fu (Devil Squeeze Pig)" remix,
was the follow-up.  Keep in mind, I had *no* previous tracking experience,
and it shows.

Dark Illustrated as a whole accepts no responsibility for any burst
eardrums.  You've been warned.

-xm

Conclusion...

I've never been one to draw conclusions.  (Heck, does ANYONE know wtf
a conclusion LOOKS like?!)  So I'll end this spiel by saying that the
next Collection you'll open will knock your keyboard right out of your
hands and make your mouse scurry under it's pad.

Last year was the Summer of Hate world tour... this year...

heh...

Our fatty legions will make Godzilla look like a &*#$'n salamander.

"Size does matter" indeed.