12:34, 3rd hour Eng. Lit -- Just returned from lunch, 4 Nov. 1998

	Today I made a realization. Human nature is based solely on two
things: the ability to cause pain, and fear of the same. A group of
people, mostly boys where making fun of and provoking someone with a
chronic mental disability, attempting to and succeeding in getting him to
do things for their own amusement, and he -- in an attempt to do what he
was taught to do -- tried his best to please and be accepted by them.
	How i do detest this society that I am forced to be a part of.
	The only way to help the violent is through violence, but being
against such things, I am instead treated as a criminal myself.
	Being an active and vocal socialist, as well as a pacifist, I do
everything that I can to promote equality between peoples, and I am even
admired for this until these groups realize that I am only seeking to
lower and eliminate their status as an individual. Individuality promotes
nothing good. Diversity brings only wasted time and illusions of
betterment. For peace, everyone must be equal, and for equality, each must
submit to the will of a whole that can never exist except through
xenocide. I do advocate nothing and I do not advocate your beliefs because
I can not. Every man and every woman is a star, and stars were born to
fall and die.
	I want nothing but freedom, yet again I must resign this hope
because true freedom only comes through ostracization, and an ostracized
man has no use, or even a definition for such a thing. Freedom is a
synonym for death, and death I say is not a character I yet, nor ever wish
to greet.
	I envy every person that has ever thought that they were a part of
something with meaning, and at times I even envy myself.
	I want to go back to a time that would disappoint me even if I
could return to it.
	I want to return to every place I have never been.