"he had alot to say he had alot of nothing to say we'll miss him" - my lips are moving, but i can't hear myself.. (i have no mouth, and i must scream..) like the therapeutic drugs i've been on to cope.. the voices of all the others float into oblivion.. and the sound of my cracking voice becomes tinny.. as the dull roar in my head becomes louder.. louder, louder, louder, and louder.. and suddenly! my voice sharpens, it becomes so manly.. its apparent and obvious strength stuns the patrons i have no hesitations, i speak boldly.. (but still, i cannot hear myself..) and i begin to recollect mentally.. what yuri was like.. my thoughts gather themselves, and solidify into his image.. and he is in essence standing two feet from my eyes.. in the flesh, his skin is dripping death.. but there he is, and here i am.. and still my voice floats on.. i can't hear myself.. as i begin to speak with yuri, like the good old days.. in my dictatorship fashion.. and the people sit back straight.. and they listen... - "so long we wish you well you told us how you weren't afraid to die well then, so long don't cry or feel too down" - but a youngster, he was everyones' friend.. (and sometimes he just couldn't be bothered) at the mere age of fourteen, all the worries in the world escaped him.. (so ignorant, and so blissful) (he became what we all expected and wanted) (without conforming to our standards) - embittered by the world around him so loving, yet uncaring, he exuded curiousity and knowing the angst driven parade he was appealed to us all just as trent's succulent and endearing voice sucked him in.. drawing him closer.. closer.. closer.. "my whole existence is flawed" - "to ascend you must die you must be crucified for your sins and your lies goodbye..." - yes, we exalted yuri.. our friend, our friend, our friend.. (keep telling yourselves that) we loved him as our friend so dear.. so loved and dear.. (maybe we didn't? of course we did!) (liars, liars, liars, liars!) we were so ignorant to what he was becoming.. - "i'm stuck in this dream it's changing me... i am becoming... the me that you knew he had some second thoughts he's covered with scabs he is broken and sore" - yes, to what he was becoming.. so ignorant we were, and so still we are.. (but he wouldn't tell us, no..) (he wouldn't tell us at all!) how could we guess his so called pain and suffering? if only we were psychic motherfuckers.. (god, bestow us with the advantage..) - "he couldn't believe how easy it was he put the gun into his face bang... so much blood for such a tiny little hole problems do have solutions a lifetime of fucking things up.. fixed.. in one determined flash.. everything's blue in this world.. the deepest shade of mushroom blue.. all fuzzy.. spilling out of my head..." - the creators fought with sincere stupidity sincere infidelity.. and yuri, meanwhile, stood by and listened.. and on they carried, fighting and fighting.. as yuri stood by and listened... but just as he thought it was about to cease.. the institution of law proclaimed a divorce so taxing, so taxing and exacting it was on dear yuri.. could he handle the pain? was there any at all? but yes, of course, of course.. - "i hurt myself today to see if i still feel i focus on the pain.. the only thing that's real.." - (my voice floats upon the wind, as i carry on..) (i can't hear myself, i have no mouth, and i must scream..) (but still it goes on..) (as my onlookers are stunned, angry, saddened..) (millions of emotions we cannot explain..) (and still i go on..) - "i am the voice inside your head (and i control you)" - and so yuri pleaded with himself.. he analyzed, and analyzed, and was consumed with angst.. the separation exacted a fierce and cruel punishment upon him.. (he condemned himself, his bane was his own mind) and the meaninglessness of the world around him.. striking a mighty blow upon his weakened mind.. - the rope was coiled, and transformed into an awaiting snake.. (as liquor became reality, the drugs became abnormalitiy) knotted into a hangman's noose.. awaiting the pure and precious neck of a precocious teenager.. (oh, it fed upon the life..) as yuri, detached from everything and everyone.. carried himself self-sacrificingly to the back of his school.. and took his life, so selfishly, yet so obstinantly.. (fuck you all, fuck you, fuck you all) as the thick rope began to pull and strain.. biting into flesh.. and asphyxiated the young lad, yuri, fourteen years old.. goodbye. - "if i could start again a million miles away i would keep myself i would find a way." - bodily functions, coherency, and feeling return absent mindedly.. as my dead eyes stare into the crowd of assholes.. (why, they are merely sitting there as a fucking function!) so expected of them, it is, it is.. and i glare hatefully at these motherfuckers.. these "familiar strangers" that i know so well.. (their identities escape me....) as yuri disappears from my mind, and everything is numb.. muscles unclench, eyelids flutter in the space of a moment.. and i'm falling.. falling.. falling.. goodbye, yuri, goodbye.