the clouds roll overhead, in their somber state of mind
the hue of their linings so grey and uncaring
their shapelessness haunts our eyes, and we discard the notion
they weigh us down emotionally..
all the better for this day devoid of any happiness
the sun won't shine through, and forever we are held..
cast in a stream of gloom and despair..
until the end of the hour is at hand
the full sixty minutes run their course..
(give or take, we are in no hurry)
(our artificial happiness can never return, for all we care)
and so my eyes subside from the refracting light..
the world beyond the world steaked is no longer held in my gaze..
(for but a moment..)
(the dark vinyl and plastic of the car suit the mood)
and my trembling hand reaches for the handle..
muscles clenching, and the gears inside turn..
(bones grinding together in loneliness)
as my foot, donned with the tepid alligator shoe..
steps into the ostracized dirt mixed with water upon the ground..
and the sound is a *slosh*, and a suck and pop..
(mud is splayed upon new pantlegs)
and i slowly push the door closed..
as my legs and feet, working together in partnership..
(striding, slowly yet anxiously, hesitant yet excited..)
to the appointed door..
-
etched, and grizzled, the framework is astounding..
(even in it's boredom..)
intricately laced woodwork with a chisel don the beautifully wrought door
and the articulate, pedantic metal works..
nothing less than a miracle in natural technology
the handle moulded into spherical perfection
from the crystal poison, and the bubbles dance with each other..
and engraved above this sight of beauty..
just above the frame..
in golden letters, to appease the grieving..
and stimulate the greedy..
are the words, so boldy standing out in their brazen attitude
"Lugosi Funeral Home"
-
again, my hand, trembling..
muscles clenching, and everything inside working..
(frenzied pace is doubled by my beating heart)
turns the perfect globe, and the door swings open..
(so easily, so easily, like inviting me in, man..)
and when i let go, it shuts with a faintly audible "click"
-
upon entering this hell of macabre..
many different aromas assault my nasal passage..
the smell of prosthetic death..
and the cleansing utilities of the morbid doctors..
enbalming fluid for breakfast?
intestinal tract for lunch?
or perhaps some..
yes, the smell of preserved death reaches me..
haunting me, flaunting to me its appeal..
(and so casually the blood is left upon tables..)
(am i hallucinating?)
-
down, down, down..
down..
the heels of my alligators click resoundingly..
upon the marble hallway..
each click reminding me of the sight awaiting me..
(have i begun the downward spiral?)
(am i lost now, encased in the crystalline?)
(don't help me)
down, down, down..
down..
closer..
the hallway is getting shorter..
(am i getting bigger?)
down..
upon reaching the very last door, it is swung open..
and my imagination was correct..
everything i had dreamt of and more was here..
the tears beginning to well up in my eyes..
(but i must suppress them! a gentleman shouldn't weep, cry..)
-
a procession of downcast, tear streaked faces meets my eyes..
each and every one of them sobbing into lace hankerchiefs..
(the intricate weaving is so beautiful..)
(flowers woven into lace, and other wonderful designs)
(black, white, different colors and different faces)
(another detail, striking me as odd that i notice them now..)
the various apparel they are all dressed in..
somber suits that speak out suffering..
and some suits that scream out "hey, I'm sad, but look at me!"
some beautifully designed dresses..
with the veils coveted by the round hats..
and some simple gowns to suit the occasion..
so appropriate.. so boring..
as some of the men wear dresses..
and some of the women wear suits..
-
eventually, after many angst filled greetings..
of sympathy and understanding..
they seat themselves accordingly by friends, and family..
crying amongst themselves..
muttering words of comfort..
(nothing works, nothing will)
the funeral begins..
(the hearse is in my mind)
and the eulogy is to be read..
from mind, body, and soul..
so deeply emotional, so deeply engraved..
rent from the bottom of my emotions..
written in the most extreme words of empathy..
(i encompass everyones' feelings in my words)
so explicit..
my endeavor is to tell them what they are experiencing..
and so i begin my authentic speech..
(unlike the lying motherfuckers, the politicians)
my words are heartfelt, sincere to the core..
here i go, watch my speed and depth..
shut up and listen..