on a clear saturday morning..
when the sun shines brightly
incandescent rays of light shimmer
refracting off of various orifices
polished glass, objects of vanity
and the sky is a heart wrenching blue
the heavens are in sight..
the angelic white clouds are haunting
their perfection bliss
their touch a touch of purity
(scald my hand with my sin)
the boughs of evergreens swaying..
to the steady tempo of the wind
praying in silence, slowly dying
-
asphalt is embedded, tainted tar reeks..
reeking of civilization..
and the glory..
glorified artificial mechanisms
wonders of our fellow man
roll along languidly upon the road
iron trees rise up into the sky..
sending out signals of green, yellow and red
and crosswalks teem..
teeming of the passing parade of feet
all differently decorated..
yet all the same, oh conformity
(i hate it)
-
and lonesome yet content..
unadultered by the grievous world around it..
stands my fortified house of brick
(layer upon layer)
gleaming windows, doors of the finest steel
checkered agony abides in my abode..
acre upon acre of sacred grass..
and yard upon yard of seemingly endless weed
(oh yes, yes, we love to kill)
(we kill to love)
-
enter under the frame of wood, stoop..
in your plight of vertical splendor..
and welcome to the world beneath your level gaze..
-
portraits of self-sacrificing heroism..
my decorum of choice and i love to flaunt
(oh, so pedantic, oh, so phallic)
and the crucifixes of your savior are fruitful and whole
he bleeds unceremoniously, haggard bastard
(oh, have you been crucified recently?)
and the monkey is upon the wooden cross..
hands and feet nailed cruelly yet beautifully
(struggle in your dilemma of titanium)
-
(come further into my abyss....)
the showcase displays my horrid pleasures..
idiosyncrasies betray your sense of normality
(oh, plunge the eloquent dagger into your heart)
various busts of conquerers and rebellions..
napoleon's in brass and khan is in silver..
hitler is in iron grey..
(weep openly at the dictatorship..)
and the sharpened slivers begin to eradicate your skin
prying their way through, yes, they do..
(open yourself to me)
instruments of premeditated pain adorn the wall
they hang lazily, and we ostracize their talent
(oh, how sacher masoch was a dear!)
-
(a few more feet..)
pipe organ dreams of salvation and redemption
repent, and bow down at the feet of thy lord and savior
(oh, you will find happiness in slavery)
and computerized drones of synthesized fuck
drown in your industrial waste
(oh, beat your head upon the table)
and piano chords strike a vein in your body
the orgasm is overwhelming..
(what a lover of music you are!)
-
(take off your stockings and frollick silently...)
the ante-chamber of darkness..
lights flicker in recognition
and suddenly!
the four walls are streamlined with tombs..
each tomb varying in thickness..
each book leatherbound, old and blanketed..
in a dust of ol', long forgotten to you all
pick a subject, any subject..
the media whores greedily scrape away at my flesh
ignorant, prying leeches, draining my life from me..
and when i rid myself of them, i'm dead, and in bliss..
or perhaps..
the damned blue hands rise slowly from dirt and loam..
twisted into a sickly claw of age old death and decay
fingernails curled into menacing weapons
and the cup of poison lies seductively..
next to your grave of choice
actually..
the politics of a fascist region, a household of hatred
apocalpytic entities entice you to flee
(he screams and frenzied fit overtakes him, emotionally)
and you scream hoarsely, dying upon your lips
(whisper of emotional agony)
maybe..
the sinning prospect of anti-religion and self-loathing
if god is dead, why has he lived before?
and abandoned our little party of stupidity?
or perhaps god has never existed..
and our imaginations are overactive in october
-
pieces of me, pieces of you..
-
and there she stands...
uncaring and yet so deeply emotional
striding confidently yet humbled
coppery curls flying abstractly..
(so brazenly unaware..)
and eyes of love and curiousity..
gleaming in the light of the now dismal day..
(i love to gaze longingly into my bane)
the creamy white complexion overwhelms me
and encompasses me in its biased perfection
the smile creeps slowly upon the lips of rouge
turning my entire essence to unfulfilled agony
but she goes one way..
and i go another, in my succulent, bittersweet boredom
my close minded digression
(latiores fines petimus)
-
and there i stand, alone yet not lonely
(lonely yet not alone)
my unstructured words of idiocy leap out at my eyes..
boldly black upon the white, yet nicotine stained page
my haunted eyes stare vacantly, uncomprehending
(and fully understanding)
dishevelled hair plagues my scalp
(unkempt and uncaring)
the days old down upon my emaciated cheeks itches..
and i scratch absent mindedly..
as i ponder my meaningless
and search for a reason why i am here
(yet come to no conclusion)
my confusion is inherent, can you not see?
the angst is pathetic and worthless..
(and so appealing)
hunger dominates the stomach
lack of oxygen asphyxiates the lungs
(metabolism weakened)
and strongly weak bones ache
(arthritis is such a pain in the ass)
decalcified teeth rot slowly
(the cavities are gruesome and always interesting)
on the brink of insanity, the edge of inanity
(the threshold of talentless suicide)
why not kill me now? do my words make sense?
you merely mock my style, my uncreativity does not surprise me
and asleep i fall..
sing the song i ask you to..
(now i'll rest my weary life for but awhile)
guten nacht.