-++- -  - tWSted nEWS at 8 - ++ - +- - - --           --

good evening, and welcome to tWSTed news, this is tHERUIN3r. pSEA is
on  vacation, prolly gettin'  some fat pussy on a nude beach somewhere down
south, while i'm stuck up here, freezing  my ass off, in this blustery -40°
typical canuck weather, to bring you tonite's edition of tWSted news.

in tonite's top story, tWISted <that's US>turns ONE YEAR OLD, a feat
accomplished by lessand less groups these days, as the scene detiorates and
the entire world crawls to a quiet death.i am not a crackpot.*ahem*congrats
go out from this reporter to tWISted, goin' strong in '97.

in other news, waffles have been proven to drastically increase your
sperm count.  so i guess if you're a little low on you-know-what, reach for
the freezer and "leggo my eggo"(tm).

and now to dee^lOts for the weather.,. . ..

<dee^lOts> *chatter*

well then, thank you for that wonderfully colourful report. on a bit
of a  sadder note,  count zero left this month,  well actually he left last
month, but seems no one really noticed until now. tWSted hit the streets to
discover the public's reaction.

<tWSted> how do you feel about c0 quitting the

<average j0e> ..
<tWSted> you know, tWSted,losing its strongest
tWSt█▐█nEWS█  █member?? c0, the guy who drew all the

<average j0e> and ansi is what??
<tWSted> ahh, thank you for your time.

after a few more similar attempts,  we decided it best to ask people
from #twisted.

<tWSted> how do you feel about c0 quitting twisted?
<mojo-> she was a great person, i'll miss her, what a gal.
<tWSted> uhmmm count zero was a guy, and still is for that matter.
<mojo-> ya she was great.
<tWSted> uhhh ya, nice talking to you .., . .

<tWSted> how do you feel about c0 quitting twisted?
*gus is away

<tWSted> how do you feel about c0 quitting twisted?
<sh4m4n> oh man, what a wicked diablo, i mean artist.  tWisted's gonna
diablo him real diablo, uhhh i gotta diablo,. .
sh4m4n has quit iRC (playing diablo, dIABLO!@!)

<tWSted> how do you feel about c0 quitting twisted?
<newander> he was really like a big brother to me, i looked up to him,
someday i'm gonna grow up just like hIM!@

so there you have it, c0 will be sorely missed.  this reporter knows
he wishes he could draw 4, 100 line pics a month, but this is REALITY. .,. .

now its time for sports with our very own jYNX.

<jYNX> what in the hell?!!@ i ain't no stinkin' sports reporter!!@
<tHERUIN3r> just say something about the superbowl.
<jYNX> superbowl?? we don't do  that sorta thing up here in canada, up
here we got the grey cUP, no pansy "bOWLS" for us, we got CUPS!
eat it yankee scum!@ eAT IT!!#@$ STICK THAT IN YO,. . .........

this just in,  tWISted has accepted a new member into their midst, 2
actually. organ grinder joins as a trial ascii member,  gracing us with his
mad new skillzz. tHERUIN3r,  the very same guy thats writing this leet .nFO
file, joins us from the remnants of sPIN. seems the idiot attempted to quit
the scene, but instead decided to join tWISted. for all you who didn't know
this is the old kannibalistik, coming back from the dead in a powerful way.

well, this reporters day has come to an end. tune in next month when
we do a feature report on "what screen radiation does to your penis,and how
drawing ansi reduces the risk". stay tuned 4r a brand new episode of fAMILY
tIES where skippy promises the keaton family fame and fortune if they invst
in his zany new invention, lots of laffs, coming up next. goodnite every1.

.nFO and pics by tHERUIN3r(tWSt)