tWST-14.nfo

n   EWS,.  .

i've been away for the last couple of months,  s
o this will
be a very inaccurate info file :) but whats new? i d
o know that
lots of stuff  has happened this last month,  but we
'll come to
that in a minute. first off i'd like to say
where i've been.

*   t   HERUIN3r's story, . ,.

it was early on a sunday morning.,  i usually sleep
late on
sundays.,  but today i had to go to work.  i work at
the future
shop now. its a neat place. i clean the warehouse, o
h what fun!
as i drove to work this particularily foggy morn
ing, i  all
of the sudden noticed i had  driven through some sor
t of dimen-
sional gate. what was supposed to  be th
e intersection at upper
wentworth and rymal had become., .to my complete sur
prise,. the
door to some superior beings astral plane.
as i drove around the place in my1995 ford contour,
i began
to notice things. first off all the people wore whit
e face make
up and could only say one word, "jESUS".  second the
roads were
paved with peanuts. this, i thought, was quite neat.
i like pea-
nuts. and third, and most important,the trees didnt
have leaves
they had ... caramilk(tm) bars!
i had discovered  the caramilk(tm) secret!  nest
le  workers
collect  and package this dimension's  "leaves" and
market them
as caramilk(tm) bars. i must say i could mak
e a fortune selling
this secret, if only i could get home.
i wont bore you with the details of my escape, main
ly'cause
i forget, but i will tell you this. NESTLE isn't saf
e anymore.!
i know your secret, and i will go to the press if i
am not paid
a comfortable sum.
the rest of the two months i spent doinghomework an
d having
sex.

* loosely based on a true story.

l   ast month.,   .

the following are a few events that happened in
june:

- ramirez was featured in his local paper, headline
read "ansi-
leader exposed as crack lord".  twisted denied any k
nowledge of
the events mentioned.
- tainted and c22 moved on to bigger and  BETTER gro
ups.  after
looking for weeks,  they finally gave up and applied
to ice and
fuel, respectively.
- bad mojo threatened to quit, but soon backed down
when he saw
that everyone in #twisted was idle.
- dee^lOts stole a pair of women's underwear from se
ars."i like
looking at the pictures on the package" he later tol
d the press
- and finally the  members of twisted  all got toget
her  for an
end of school bASH. i must say it was fun until gus
peed in the
pool and we were all sent home.

n   ext month., .

is august.

-info and art done by tHERUIN3r