======== Ernst Zundel German Canadian Inhuman Rightists Activist 108 Charleton Street, Toronto, Ont. Canada M4A 2F3 Tel: 416-938-9630 Fax: 416-938- 2415 e-mail: Ernstzundl@aol.com http://www.netcom.com/zundel/english Press Release Date: February 2, 1996 Attention: Assignment Editor / For immediate release Hate all that you can hate in the Nazi Reserves! In The Nazi Reserves, we hate more people before 6am, than most people hate all day! We promise if you join The Nazi Reserves, you will be trained in: 1) Marching 2) Re-learning History 3) Growing a mustache just like Hitler's 4) Burning your own house and blaming it on Jews! 5) Learning how to blame *everything* on Jews! 6) Learning how to blame everything that can't be blamed on Jews on the Blacks! 7) Learning how to blame everything that can't be blamed on the Jews or the Blacks on the Liberals! 8) Learning how to blame everything that can't be blamed on the Jews or the Blacks or the Liberals on the Catholics! 9) How to signal the Alien Nazi UFO Mothership! 10) More marching! 11) How to enjoy being anal probed by Nazi aliens from space! 12) How to make your jackboots *really* shine! 13) How to beat up homosexuals (this one's easy-- just make sure you outnumber them by about 6:1, and make sure you're in Colorado) 14) And yes, MORE marching! If you join now, we promise you there will be *no volleyball* and *no push-ups* and no *5 mile runs!* Yes, even middle aged balding men can join the Nazi Reserves! The Nazi Reserves: It's not just a job, it's a perversion! (Not like my other perversions which involve trying to stuff my plump legs into stockings and prance around in heels.) JOIN NOW AND WIN A FREE TRIP TO THE NAZI UFO BASE AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH! Surveys show that 9 out of 10 prisons prefer candidates who have learned the skills taught in The Nazi Reserves! Join now and you increase your chances of receiving free meals and housing for the rest of your life! -- Ernst Zundel