Murphy's Laws of BBS'ing

   * The day after you buy the fastest new modem, they will change the
     standard so that your modem can only talk to modems of the same brand
     (only 100 of which were ever sold).
 
   * The factory will ship the wrong manual with your modem and you will
     spend hours finding and setting dip switches that aren't even on your
     modem.
 
   * However the modem comes set from the factory, it will be the WRONG way
     to work on your machine.
 
   * No matter what solution you devise to fix a problem with your modem,
     it will lead to the creation of at least four other problems.
 
   * Whenever a caller has problems using the BBS, the user will insist the
     problem is on the sysop's side and the sysop will insist the problem
     is on the caller's side.

   * If you fail to follow the advice of more experienced modemers and use
     the same password on every BBS you call, someone will steal your
     password and make lewd comments about the sysop's mother on the boards
     you WERE on.
 
   * If you DO follow the advice of more experienced modemers and use a
     totally different password on every BBS you call, you will forget the
     password of the board where your date has left a message telling you
     where to meet them tonight.
 
   * Your spouse, who rarely visits you at your computer, will stop by at
     the exact moment you've receive a flirtatious page from another
     user...You REALLY have never chatted with them before!
 
   * You will always forget to disable call waiting when connected to a
     pay-by-the-minute BBS.
 
   * A truely great BBS is either illegal, immoral, or long distance from
     you.
 
   * If a file takes more than 30 minutes to download, someone in your
     house will pick up the phone within the last 15 seconds.
 
   * No matter how neutral the topic, your message will offend SOMEONE.
 
   * The first time you forget to scan your file downloads for viruses will
     be the first time in your life you'll actually get a virus.
 
Happy Modeming!
 
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