D A R KI L L
U S T R A
T E DJ U L Y1
9 9 7   I N F O F I L E

I  N  T  R  O  D  U  C  T  I  O  N

They say that within the darkness lies the truth
.  If there is any
substance to this then go no further.  Screams follow ev
ery action, fear
precedes all.  Yet one thing remains within our depths,
the featured skill
that has carried on our legacy for over 3 years.  Look p
ast the scene, look
past the faceless artist.  Welcome to DARK Illustrated,
wanderer; for you
have reached a place of great exception.

Dark, a term of evil that engulfs all those that
give into their
desires.  Talent, art, friendship and oneness shall foll
ow you into our ranks.
Ranks where once you enter you may only escape knowing t
hat your heart belongs
to DARK.  Be warned, wanderer; you have not yet begun to
experience our full
wrath.  After all, we are DARK Illustrated.

- The 4th Disciple

D   A   R   K      N   E   W   S

Things have settled down quite a bit after the b
ig release with the
Mistigris tour.  My personal thanks to everyone involved
; it was a sweet pack
and oodles of fun to do.

Big thanks goes out to Xypher Matryx, for bustin
' his balls for the
past several months.  This month, he decided to take a r
est from packaging
the Collection and other related pressures.  (He's decid
ed to become a camp
councellor.  Hmm.)

We're still working away at our website so be pa
tient.  Several
design changes have occured, and changes in coordinators
means the final
product will be better than ever.  (Translation : We're
not done -- leave
us alone.)

In other news, DARK has had several people apply
ing that were
blatant rippers.  To keep their names anonymous, we'll c
all them 'Myxis',
'Murton', and 'Minbee'.

It may come as a shock that to you that 'Minbee'
has been ripping
everything and been in the scene for more than a year bo
uncing between groups.
After long investigative work, several of his pieces cam
e up on WWW pages,
including a couple he submitted for the pack.  Since the
n, this criminal
has fled the scene and is still at large.  He's wanted d
ead, or stuffed to
be hung on the walls of #dark.  If you're reading this W
inbee, er, I mean
'Minbee', give yourself up.  You wanted recognition and
you'll get it this
way, when the Dark Taxidermy department gets through wit
h you.

- Burnout

D  A  R  K    M  E  M  B  E  R    U  P  D  A  T  E

- The 4th Disciple, former Dark senior a
nd Echo co-founder comes out of
retirement to join us once again.  This time around, he'
ll be concentrating
on his artwork, instead of running the group.

- The Prodigy, former Dark ANSI logoist
and formidible ASCII artist returns to  our ranks
, complete with annoying witticisms.

- deftDelia, aka Pandora also co
mes into our ANSI division from Blade.  I'm
sure you'll enjoy her original smallscale work.

- Two additions to our ANSI department late in t
he month: Internal, also
from Blade, and Spear, making a strong comeback
in the ANSI scene.  Both are
very solid logoists, and we're extremely happy to welcom
e them to our folds.

- All the new members seemed glad to become Dark
ies, though none seemed too
appreciative of the traditional "Atomic Wedgie Initiatio
n" we gave them shortly after.  (that's the kind
where the band goes OVER their heads.)

- We are proud to announce that Samurai,
a Dark veteran and one of the best     newschool
artists there are in the world, has been promoted
to Dark
Co-ordinator.  He sure as hell earned it, and it's about
fraggin' time,
too.

- In other news, Armaggeddon Donut returns to th
e VGA department from the
co-ordinator position.

- Corinthian

For the last few months, there has been a flurry of
'DARK' meets.  Withthe great turnouts, everyone h
as become aquainted.  One member in particular is
Carnifex.  On the phone, he sounds like a 46 year old ma
n -- it seems like he's
been taking daily shots of testosterone.  But, when he f
inally showed his face
in public, he was nothing like we had pictured.  He is a
full-fledged F.O.B;
he met everyone of the follow points :

Oriental EtiquetteCarnifex Checklist

1. Dyed orange-red hair. (Streaks.)[x]
2. Carries a Snoopy(tm)/Hello Kitty(tm) pencil case.
[x]
3. Listens to oriental pop music.[x]
4. Drives a lowered Integra(tm).[x]
5. Drives a lowered Integra(tm) with spoiler and skirt.
[x]
6. Has a pager.[x]
7. Has a pager with alphanumeric display.[x]
8. Entire wardrobe consists of Club Monaco wear.[x]
9. Wears 'dog-tags'.[x]
10. Smokes Marlboros(tm)[ ]

* Editor's note : Carnifex did not meet the last one, be
cause it is a sin in
church.

Things that make you go 'Pardon me, could you please
repeat that?'

Holister : <raize> son of a bitch my whole face
is leaking
PBreaker : If grass could scream, I'd mow the la
wn every day.
raize : After all that water, I gotta go ftpee
burnou7 : fetus and clit, fetus and clit, I gott
a get me some fetus and clit.
Corinth_ : We're gonna be releasing a Riches2Rag
s pack starring Winbee.
oxygene : gee nice cps. I COULD PEE IT FASTER OV
ER THE PHONE LINE.
egoteq : I am your mother. Don't get your brothe
r to rape me.
Seedy : cuz these balls were made for lickin, an
d that's just woht you'll dooh!         and wunna
deez dayz deez bawlz are gonna bounce all over y
ew!
PBreaker : I have a great job working with child
ren. All I have to do is drag
them into the van.
ebonics: I be da cool ass nigga who gitz
all da hoes, who do muh fly fly flippit
y fly, all night! -English: Nacho Nacho Na
cho Man, I want to be a
nacho man!
burnou7 :  My urine smells like bacon.
corpcow- : !seen "if acid ever releases on time"
Carnifex : THIS is how you add a fucking quote.
ax_ : <but i like the brackets>
oxygene : we are fatties. face it.
stile : What's the hardest part of a vegetable t
o eat? THE WHEELCHAIR.
Cyberdyne : Hey..Can Any good hackers ha
ck me an AOL Account?
DarkVader : Corinth_: Winbee was last here 49 da
ys, 1 hours, 30 minutes ago
burnou7 :  Ever wonder if your mom gave your dad
a blowjob before she kissed
you goodnight?

Native 3DFX ANSI viewing planned for Darkview/2.

DARKNESS, BE GONE !

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitt
ed light.  However,
recent information has proven otherwise.  Electric headl
ight bulbs don't emit
light; they suck dark.  Thus, we will call these bulbs
DARK SUCKERS.  The
Dark Sucker Theory proves the existence of dark, that da
rk has mass heavier
than that of light, and that dark is faster than light.?

The BASIS OF THE DARK SUCKER THEORY is that elec
tric bulbs suck dark.
Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you
are.  There is less
dark right next to them than there is elsewhere.  The la
rger the dark sucker,
the greater its capacity to suck dark.  Dark suckers in
a parking lot have a
much greater capacity than the ones in this room.  As wi
th all things, dark
suckers don't last forever.  Once they are full of dark,
they can no longer
suck.  This is proven by the black spot on a full dark s
ucker.

A CANDLE IS A PRIMITIVE DARK SUCKER.  A new cand
le has a white wick.
You will notice that after first use, the wick turns bla
ck, representing all
the dark which has been sucked into it.  If you hold a p
encil next to the
wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black, be
cause it got in the
way of the dark flowing into the candle.  Unfortunately,
these primitve dark
suckers have a very limited range.

There are also PORTABLE DARK SUCKERS.  The bulbs
in these can't handle all of
the dark by themselves, and must be aided by dark storag
e unit(s) in the
handle.  When the dark storage unit is full, it must be
either emptied or
replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate aga
in.

DARK HAS MASS:  When dark goes into a dark sucke
r, friction from this mass
generates heat.  Thus, it is not wise to touch an operat
ing dark sucker.
Candles present a special problem as the dark must trave
l into the solid
wick, instead of through glass.  This generates a great
amount of heat.
Thus, it can be very dangerous to touch an operating can
dle.

DARK IS ALSO HEAVIER THAN LIGHT:  If you go swim
ming, just below the surface
of a lake you will see a lot of light.  If you swim deep
er and deeper, you
notice it slowly gets darker and darker.  When you reach
a depth of
approximately 50 feet, you are in total darkness. This i
s because the heavier
dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter dar
k floats to the top.

The IMMENSE POWER OF DARK can be utilized to man
's advantage. We can
collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes
, and push it through
turbines which generate electricity and helps push dark
to the ocean where it
may be safely stored.  Prior to turbines, it was much mo
re difficult to get
dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean.  The Indian
s recognized this
problem and tried to solve it.  When on a river, in a ca
noe, traveling in the
same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly,
so as not to stop
the flow of dark; but when they traveled against the dar
k, they paddled
quickly, so as to help push the dark along its way.

Finally, we must prove that DARK IS FASTER THAN LIGH
T.  If you were to stand
in an illuminated room on front of a closed, dark closet
, then slowly open
the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter th
e closet; but since
the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the da
rk leave the closet.

In conclusion, I would like to say that dark suckers mak
e all our lives much
easier.  So the next time you look at an electric bulb,
remember that it is
indeed a dark sucker.

-Author Unknown

S  U  P  P  O  R  T    S  I  T  E  S

The Lethal AspectWorld HeadquartersXypher
Matryx
The RegencyInternet HeadquartersHalaster
Mad Cows?!?DARK Member BoardNight Stalke
r
Savage ExileDARK Member BoardAcidic Soap
Sight & SoundDARK Member BoardDrone-Fly
Abraxas/DiabolicDARK US Support SiteMegga
Hertz
ABCD CafeDARK Support Site          Kyo

Where to obtain DARK Collections

Via the Internet, DARK packs can be obtained fro
m The Regency's FTP
site, at tregency.res.cmu.edu, or from the ACiD Artpack
s Archive at
ftp.cdrom.com (/pub/artpacks/incoming/artpacks/).

Most DARK members can be contacted through e-mai
l (addresses available
in the memberlist), and some may be found lurking on th
e IRC, in channel
#dark.  (EFnet)

On the World Wide Web, you'll find support for DA
RK Illustrated, as
well as the latest pack, via www.darkillustrated.org.

For more detailed information on DARK Illustrated
, DARK's own F.A.Q.
(Frequently Asked Questions) text file is included in t
his archive.
Filename: DARK-FAQ.187

Filename Conventions

Filenames work like this:  XXXXX-##.*

XXXXX is a five-letter abbreviation of the artist
's alias.
(Should the alias fall within five characters or
less, the entire
alias will be used.)

## represents the current number of pieces the ar
tist has produced for
the year of 1997.

* can be any valid extension for images, executab
les, data files, or
musical compositions.  The most common are DRK for ANSI
images, JPG/GIF/BMP/
etc... for high-resolution graphic images, and MOD/S3M/
XM/etc... for music
date files.

C O N C L U S I O N

That's all I have to say about that.

- The Green Hornet

Dark Illustrated · July 1997