Metal on my tongue
Held by my teeth
My cheeks wet from the tears
Is there any other way?
Not that I have found
Trembling, I squeeze
Death itself is painless
But it hurts to look at my body
Lifeless, on the floor
Covered in blood
My blood
The hole in the back of my head the cause of my pain
But what's done is done
I can not move back
I can only move forwards
I wonder how people will handle it
I doubt that many will care
Ny friends aren't real friends
They'll get over it quickly
My teachers will be pleased I'll no longer have to be dealt with
My mother
Now her I am curious about
I do not know how she will handle it
She acts like she hates me
But I feel there is love buried down deep
Now I will find out
Is there love in her heart, or ice in her veins
Hearing her footsteps the moment of truth is now
My door opens and she runs to my side
She is hysterical as she holds my limp body
It looks as if she loves me
If only I did not have to goto such extremes to find out
I am sorry for putting you through this mother
I wish I would have known...

  luke skywalker
  lscodine@juno.com