happy new year from our staff ... this is the sci-f i channel, welcome to                                               +@)   -(@ #@!the edge is published monthly as an information text  on blade productions!@# +@) -(@ the edge - the blade informational textfile -  volume 3 / issue 11  "more angst than a grunge band , we are blade!"      - ---     contents -         1.  the edge (volume 3, issue 11)   Ĵ2. the mem bers (december, 1996)   Ŀ   3.  the affiliates (december,  1996) :  --- --- : welcome to the january blade epic! the year of the blade nation is upon us. don't you even THINK about  getting anywhere near our treehouse.  oom! we'll step on your silly littles toes, & spit on yo ur mommy!  we'll pick up your house & shake it around and hold it upside down & shake it around again & watch you & your dumb  lips fall out into a heap of flaming el ephant turds! phear the killer gopher!          Ŀ     ۲ Ĵ  Ŀ   ۰۱ ۲   ߰     ( phear bel ial, for he is an artist )  this is a piece of my computer. it's an ide card!   phear it! i resent that i have to do the art for this issue o f the edge. however, i AM such a great artist (see above), so it's really no big deal.    !@$(@*$@$ ( i dare you to decode that into elite- speak! ) phear us for we are the blade nation. we are so elite that it hurts really  a lot bad. we own a lot of stuff and we're really pretty cool! ( this is decoded using uudecode. ) uh, well, i guess i decoded it. i'm such a stain!   =b3l14 l!?(bL4D3s3n10rtYp3d0od)!?=   ////+--- -- -  << oonce..oonce..oonce >>  uhm, can i have a little oonce with that turke y club? hey, it's grey hawk, blade's official ide card sup plier.  (i've got mad underground connectionz wif da us ed-packaged-hell-parts distribution network.)  this month, blade took over the world.  (ok, well maybe not. next month..) be on the lookout for the official blade acquisitio ns list.   ninety-seven is upon us; only three years until 2k.  start counting, because, uhm, som ething.  grey hawk  -/---///-++----- - -  nyuk nyuk. yup, this is the almighty cappacino, rep orting from the blade temple. Darkness has once again been p ushed back into the receeds from, err, wherever or sumfin . at this point, I would say something unusually rahd and utterly insane, but at this hour , I fear it would interrupt ingenious  acts of massive thought processes,  ruining future lit stuffs and what- not, so I just won't do that then. roof. don'tyou hate moving fromside 2sidelike I'm justfuckinwif j0r head& shit ??? now, to finish and take up yet MORE space, um, peac e out and lates ya'll. =) .&$$$&. $$'" -! c appacino !- $$.. -! the lit  !- `&$$$&'  ==%^&---- -- -  w00p w00p... this is krypt0 speaking... i rule the world of the  armidillos and control the supply of Jolt throughout the world. I f you want some rad  and life giving Jolt send me $15 in an envelope in unmarked bills adressed to  krypt0 living at 14 Tall Oaks Drive Hazlet, NJ 07730. Anywayz i'm really cold and hungry so like hold on so i can get a dri nk and some  SweetTarts (R) woof woof this is krypt0 lameass  other half speaking erple i can talk to the aliens they are planning a massive takeover of the armadillo natio n before the next   year.. ouch get the hell off of me... this is krypt0 speaking i bet you are thinking im a damn freak well you're  right in case u havnt noticed i hate punkuatio n and spelling things correctly and im a punk... 0i 0i 0i! I like  to ramble on... and on... and on... an d on... and on.... and well i think u getthe picture anywayz im leaving ca use im bored i just felt  like typing and stuff li ke that bye! -&$&-.&$&. $$$$$.$. .&$&. .$$$. $$$$$ $ $$ $.$$$$$ .$$. $$$$$x&$$$$$$$$$&x $$.  $$$$$.$$.$$$$$ $$$ $$$  $$$$$ `$$' $$$$$$$$ ( i know this sux $$$$$$$$$$$' `$$$' `$$$' `$' ass! dont hate me cause of it ) =% krypt0 %= ------------  ----&^%== so, can you guys tell why krypt0 isn't in blade? HAH! me, too! your phearious leader,  mindcrime, here, to let you in on the rest of the phearsome news from the blade front this month. the first order of business, as the hawk  already mentioned, is this months blade natio n acquisition list! we picked up alot of stuff this month on our quest for world domination. here's the list: the red bank, nj, 7-11. the sea bright, nj, 7-11. the little silver, nj, 7-11. the beachwood, nj, 7-11. the holmdel, nj, 7-11. the keyport, nj, wawa. the beachwood, nj, wawa. the bowling alley in hazlet, nj, where we school people at air hockey. a highlander-esque katana sword. 2 hand-sculptured gargoyles. electronic arts. a keyboard, 4 IDE cards, 2 hard drives,  4 mother boards, 3 486 chips, a 14" monitor, a case and power supply, a diamond video card, a mouse, ide cables, and a lamp-style pull cord switch for the pc speaker. edicius' sister's new truck. 4 trance cd's and an amorphis cd. a coconut custard pie. 4 cans of red powdery stuff. chrystler. usrobotics. a small island nation in the south pacific. 37 AOL floppies and 4 cd's. the egghead in eatontown, nj. pc city in holmdel, nj. a gothic candle holder, with smelly candle. a dent in the side of grey hawk's car. a new vcr. dimes' friend rachel. a pron video with awesome lesbian scenes. jolt cola. (the whole company). pepsi-cola, the makers of mountain dew. cancer, the disease. (we're looking to sell this o ne, so if anyone wants it, make an offer.) ireland. taco bell. barnes & noble. route 18. hig hway 35. the lady that hit grey hawk's crx. angst.  mcdonalds.   windex.    television.  2600. the entire race of ecuadorian mountain llama's (huh uhuh, we   brandished them wi th a "B", uhuhuhuhuh...)  the knights of ni   a stoned domino's pizza man, and his res pective establishment  krypt0, who hasn't been ACCEPTED into Blade, so we ju st said fuxit   and we assimilated him (we're still wor king on what he can do. =) )  due to cappacino's mixed black/hispanic background , the entire  island of Puerto Rico and a small  African island inhabited by   savages. (we haven't told them yet.)  jackie chan   um, like all those Roy Rogers that got bought out,  we did that   sorry and stuff.    a brand-spanking new "tessel's coi l" for your enjoyment! HOWARD STERN!!! (I don't give if you thought you go t him first, he's    ours.)  TV47: univision (the channel with all the dancing, ha lf-naked puerto-   rican hoochie-mammas!?@ "come to poppi!")  a barrage of new ideas, for lik e stuff. acid burn, from the movie "hackers". a broken aiwa cd player. nintendo. advanced gravis. and last, but certainly not least.. canada. ----- alright.. that's a pretty feeble list, but we assur e you that next month's will be much larger! which brings me to the unveiling of something we l ike to call "the blade nation"... we, the members of blade productions, wish it to be known that the newly formed blade nation wil l conquer the earth. world domination is our goal! we'll stop at nothing until all of you silly humans belong to us! we own you! now go away, before i taunt you a second time! and now, cappacino would like to break in with a w ork of fiction to introduce the power of the blade nati on. a brown-skinned man, extremely clean cut, donning a black cloak with an under shirt which comes up to cover his neck , sits at a bar in some  godforsaken place. His head is hooded, and the othe rs here in the bar take little notice in his actions, nor do they ackno wledge his presence. in front of him, sitting on the bar, is a large book  with a single word and a few, hard to decipher symbols, written on its cover. Next to the large book, sitting directly on the bar is a cup, as  was placed there by the brown-skinned man only seconds before. The bar fell almost to silence, and in the door stepped belial  and edicius. They were d onned to the like- ness of the brown-skinned man, and upon entering the y scanned the inside of the tavern. edicius noted a man sitting near the  wall opposite their  companion at the bar, eyeing the brown-skinned man a nd themselves. belial himself noted a few heavily armed men who posed as o ff-duty gaurds, though it was obvious that they were not.  b elial kept his face stern, containing laughter, as edicius wispered something in his ear.  belial looked up, cau ght by something that he said, and noticed the brown-ski nned man. as belial and edicius entered the tavern, a few more black-rob ed figures entered close after. The feigning gaurds became nervous at this, flashing to the shady man across the bar a questioning look, to which he r eplied with a smooth, swift, downward gesture of his hand, which seemed to  pacify the gaurds for the moment. belial, followed by edicius, grey hawk, g rymmjack, kiwi, a nd ravaged wanderer, made their way th rough the seady tavern over to the bar. the brown-skinned man picked up his cup of ste amy brown liquid and continued to drink carefully from it as the shady ch aracter across the room eyed him intently now; he turned and looked at the man, straight in the eye, and it seemed, for that short moment, the b rown-skinned man's eye sparkled and a wicked grin creased his face. belial approached the black-robed man at the bar, putting his hand on the man's shoulder. the man broke out of a sort o f trance in which he had been staring across the room, and he turned on his s tool to face him. belial revealed a smile and said, "greetings cappacino, you old dolt. how are you  man?" cappacino smiled in return, as he turned to the ba r. As he did so, he showed belial a seat on the stool next to his and  he wispered something about him being followed, and that evil things were afoot. belial took it in, as did edicius, who until now, belial hadn't kno wn was listening. The rest of the companions took seats on both sides of t he two friends, and they rested, if only briefly, in the strange comfort of t he KrimRock Tavern. the guards, who were kept just barely in sight by grey hawk, began to become extremely restless as the companions sat s omewhat cheerily at the bar. grey mentioned this to whit e raven, who had just entered, and he told him to be ready for anything. Along with white raven came mass murde rer, pw, spear, and the fear- less leader, mindcrime. On the en trance of mindcrime, the shady character across the room became visibly enraged. white raven and grey hawk mentioned this to belial, who turned to see the guards standin g up, brandishing their weapons. belial was alarmed at this, and he shouted,  "ATTACK!" At that moment, in through the front AND back door s ran the squad: hard liquor, luke sky , meltdown, n atural, exar,  underling, creator and lucife then chaos errupted! The supposed drunks which had taken residence at a ll the tables in the barroom had now emerged from drunked slumber, ap parently ready to fight, be it with bare hands or with weapons which would ap parently appear out of  thin air. And within moments, the entire barroom was consume d in combat. All except for the small spot in which cappacino sat, ca lmly drinking his odd hot drink. Then, one of the guards knocked dimes and luthor u nconsious in two  swift moves, and proceeded to his main goal: the boo k which cappacino poss- essed. cappacino, still taking in his drink, seemed not to notice the rushing guard as he knocked companion after companion out of  his way. once cappacino put the drink down, he laid his han d on the book as the guard reached for it. cappacino closed his eyes and wispered under the sounds of breaking bottles and flying chairs strange  words which he just barely finished before the guard knocked him off his  stool with the back of his brawny hand.  while the guard flung capp out of the way, the book glowed eerily on the removal of his magical touch. the guard, obvi ously content with his recovery of the Tome, reached for it eagerly. the sm ile that creased his face turned quickly to shock, however, as his unfami liar hands wrapped them- selves around the book, and a magical shock shot thr ough his body. the book glowed an evil, dark red, and the golden "B" on the cover was blinding in its light. The sparks and violent fl ashes of light that had seemed dark in their intent flew and danced up the g uards arm and into his body. cappacino was on his feet now, his hood once again  covered his face, a clean smile of satisfaction spanned his face in th e darkness his hood pro- vided as the life was shocked out of the guard's bod y to make room for the magic which now was probably the only thing holding him upright. capp felt the eyes of both his companions and thos e they were fight- ing on him, as all action in the room had stopped si nce the light display had begun. In a swift action, capp grabbed the book from  under the guards' hand and turned to the others in the room, leaving the gu ard's body to fall life- less to the ground. he held the book out, gripping it by the sides so that the front of the cover was facing all others in the room. The com panions, as well as every one else dared not stir, for they feared the same fa te that befell the guard. capp closed his eyes once again as he held the magic al tome; all others  watched in unrevealed terror as he recited wispers u nto the now-quiet barroom  the black tome began to flow again no w, not the eerie red light as before. No, this was a bright, almost divine, light which seemed more of a  shine, and it increased, brighter and brighter. Capp 's companions, his fellow blade-clan, looked as the light filled the room to s ee that those they were fighting were gone; the echo of terrified screams fl oated almost lazily aroun the room until it died away. later on that day, after all had rested, mindcrime  and the almighty Q approached cappacino as he stared into the  sunset, and they asked, "what happened back in the barroom?" capp did not turn, but he did answer, "such is tha t of an inner power that you nor the entire world knows. we possess it, and should we use it, the world would be ours." mindcrime and Q looked at each other  uneasily. "...such is the power of the blade clan, a power n ever before seen on this earth, and, once it is gone, one that  will never be seen again."  wEEEEEoooOO! we own you! and now, a free for all section! (like this whole i nfo file isn't a free for all already..) this in from risu :: hi. it's me r isu..ni hao m a? i will d edicate this part o f the infofile to uhm the weirdo's in t he art scene..u hm...you guy's s hould be able t o read this... ni hao..wo shi risu, ni chi da bien..wo de jiji hen da ..ni de mama hen hao..wo xihuan zai chuang shang gen ta zuo ai..ta de pi goo ye n hen tsoh! uhmm okay..that's enuff --..okay..uhm hi ...i don't know if any of you know me..but i'm risu..o n irc i'm _risubisu ..i don't take requests..and i don't need to be paid t o do ansi's..uhm..wait oh..okay...i only trade..unless if you really wanna pa y..then that's fine too.. uhm...or you might get something from me if i feel rea l nice..(which will be th day i screw g0at...so hook me up w/ g0at and i will gi ve you a free ansi..) ..okay...bl4de..i think everyone should join blade .. ==========\==========================bzzt mindcrime has big nads...i know because b3 told me.. .they're sex partners...uhm i would like you to take a blade survey 1. what is your favorite art group?2.  Who is the coolest?    a. bladea. mindcrime  b. ice b. friar tuck  c. ciac. napalm  d. acid d. radman 3. which is the best viewer?4. who i s the best in bed?  a. bladeviewa. b3lial  b. iceviewb. transient  c. ciaviewc. cyndicide  d. acidviewd. catbones scores as shown for every a. give yourself 5 points for every b. give yourself 4 points for every c. give yourself 3 points for every d. give yourself 2 points 17-20 is excellent 13-16 is pretty good 8-12 is pretty..bad thank you for your screwy time.. and this from diarmuid! Did you ever wonder? Did you ever wonder how we got here? Well I did, and this is my theory. You see, we are all part of a big experament. Our crea tors (who are some type of alien) created us. Much like we create small eco-systems but on much larger scale. The aliens put us here to experamen t with us, see how we evolve etc. (This is why they come back to visit us ) How did I come to this theory? Well, I smoked a bit to o many scooby snacks Other theories to come: Why when you eat corn, its sti ll corn when you  shit it out.  What the old man in the park R EALLY had in his  pocket. (no, it wasn't can dy like he told  us!)  And finally, what that smell is comming from  Mindcrimes room. (This wil l be a two parter) Diarmuid (blade's 1st and ONLY PROMOTED KeyGrip!) in actual news this month, virago has lef t blade due to a conflict of interest. we wish her well in her future endeavors. pennywise has changes his handle   to unique phreak. queerkilla, a virtual ascii god, has joine d up with  us to produce his wacky ascii. exar-kun has been promoted to the position  of ascii coordinator, after meltdown stepped down due to a loathing for the ascii art. okay.. i'm totally not in the mood to write this! so it's gunna stop here! my apologies for such a sorry excuse for an issue of the edge. we promise nex t month will be much better. blade.                 ܲ             ܲ       ܲ        ܲ  ܰ           ܰ  ߲  ߲           ۲   ۲   ޲      ۰ ߲   ۲       ܲ     ۲     ۰             ߲ ܰ   ߰     ߲       ߲ܲ           ۲  gj! ߲       all the sugar and twice the caffeine. ܲ  ߲        ޲  the members, december 1996              ޱ               leader of the revolution: (AI-L-) mindcrime ............. ...........................> mike@exit109 .com  senior staff: (-I-L-) belial .(senior adviso r)..........................> m arc@netlabs.net (---L-) edicius ..................... ....................> edi@cybercomm.net (AI---) grey hawk ................... ....................> grey@infi-pos.com  coordinators: (---L-) cappacino.(litera ture).......................> cbowers@superlink.net (CODE-) dark knight .(codin g).............................> darky@execpc.com (-I---) exar-kun .(ascii )............................>  koondog@ix.netcom.com (A---M) grymmjack .(music ).............................>  grymmy@alliance.net (A----) metallic blood .(gl obal)..................................... ....... (A----) white raven .(ansi )........................................ ......... (--V--) xEDGEx .(high resol ution)....................> aho pesc@superlink.com  members: (--V--) aninimal .................... ....................> aninimal@cris.com  (--V--) charr .......................... .................> charr@matches.com * (A-V--) creator ............. .........................> pursuit@xmissi on.com (----M) dead soul ................... ....................................... (FTP--) dimes ....................... ................> sdiamond@skidmore.edu  (---L-) dyz ......................... ....................................... (-I---) exar kun .................... ................> koondog@ix.netcom. com (INFO-) flare ....................... .................> sggamals@oakland.edu  (-I---) hard liqour ................. ....................................... (-I---) ironman ................ ............................................ (--V--) kyo ......................... ....................................... (A----) kiwi ........................... .....> kiwi.justice@sylvania.sev.org (---L-) q ........................... ........................> hu.86@osu.edu (--V--) liquid blue ................. ....................> disco@javanet.com  (---L-) lonestar .................... ...............> ttoth@earth.execpc.com  (AI---) lucifer ..................... .................> lucifer@injersey.com  * (---L-) luke skywalker ...... ............................................... * (AI---) mass murderer ....... .............................> murd@digif ro.com  (-I---) meltdown . .................................................... ...... (-I---) oxidizer .................... ....................................... (----M) paladin ..................... ....................................... (-I---) queerkilla ..................... .................................... (--V--) raveged wanderer ............ ......................> rw@shocking.com  (A----) rebal ....................... ....................> slntrage@cris.com  (-I---) risu ........................ ...................> puke@ix.netcom.com  * (A----) spear ............... ............................................... * (A----) splatt .............. ............................................... (A----) subconsciousness ............ .................> syphid@infomatch.com  (-I---) the illusionist ............. ....................................... (-I---) the masked marauder ... ............................................. (-I---) the natural ................. .............> tnatural@outerlimits.net  (-I---) torgo ....................... ..................> torgo@geocities.com  (WAREZ) toth .................. ............................................. (---L-) tron powerhouse ............. .....................> tronepic@tir.com  (-I---) tzeentch .................... ....................................... (---L-) underling ................... ....................................... (A----) unique phreak ............... ....................................... (-I---) zempf ....................... ....................................... (---L-) zion ........................ ....................................... alumni: (-----) counterpoint ................ ....................................... (-----) darkman ..................... ....................................... (-----) errant angel ................ ....................................... (-----) facsimile ................... ....................................... (-----) flux ........................ ....................................... (-----) soul seeker ................. ................> soulman@cybercomm.net  (-----) tourian ..................... .............> tourian@angel.heaven.god   * - denotes known dual gro upers. ! - several people have been deleted from this l ist due to inactivity. this does not necassarily constitut e removal from the group.          :          ޱ                     ܲ  ߲        ޲ th e affiliates, december 1996              ޱ             alderaan (908) (mindcrime ) - galactic temple apocalypse (201) (napalm ) - eastern shrine harvest moon (216) (qur'an ) - central shrine divine madness (810) (creator) - wester n shrine free coke (514) (the night an gel) - canadian shrine neo tokyo (+32) (tasmaniac ) - european shrine arcane (+61) (intense) -  australian shrine  prevail (+46) ( rex) - swedish shrine mental overdose (+32) (zarkof ) - belgian shrine altconn (+55) (starfox) - brazilian shrine ravebase (+41) (maverick ) - swiss shrine optical illusion (+47) (pyx ) - norwegian shrine ironyx (+31) (radi cal) - dutch shrine  +-- - --+ twist of fate (810) (flare ) - distribution outpost the rebel base (718) (luke sk ywalker) - distribution outpost +-- - --+ email - mike@exit109.com blade www home page - http://www.exit109.com /~mike/blade  ftp - 141.222.120.89 /blade                     ޱ                      [end of file!]  SAUCE00the edge - volume 3, issue 11 captain angst man blade productions 199701 6CP