To Walk Again + a text by Evan Rosler (lscodine@juno.com) Stacey awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath and clenching her fists until her knuckles turned white. At first she didn't know where she was, but she soon realized she was safe at home, in the bed she'd spent her whole life in. Often times she wondered what it would be like to be able to get up and walk, and she came to the conclusion that is why the dream she had that night was the same dream she'd been having for most of her life. She thought of it no more, and rolled over and turned on the tv. "Jesus, I never realized what shitty programming they run at 4am," she thought, "I might as well try and go back to sleep." And with that she turned off the television, and closed her eyes. She awoke the next morning when her mother came into the room. She opened the blinds and the bright sunlight awoke the sleeping Stacey. "What are you doing?" Stacey asked, "It's Saturday, let me sleep." "I know that Stacey, but it's time for you to get up. You don't think sleeping until noon is late enough?" her mother answered. "No I do not, now get out!" "Well well. Looks like someone is a little cranky. Maybe you do need that extra sleep" "I'm sorry mom, it's just that I had the dream again last night..." "Oh, I see... Stacey, I know that you believe there is a chance you will be able to walk again, and I wish to god that there was. But all the doctors have said the same thing about your paralysis. I'm sorry." Stacey started to cry after hearing her mother crushing her dreams of walking once again, and not being able to see her little girl cry, her mother left the room. She cried for a few minutes more, than wiped her eyes as she picked up the phone to call Joe. "Joe can always cheer me up when I need it most," she thought. Stacey let the phone ring for a good minute, and she found it strange that the answering machine did not pick up. But she payed no attention to it. As she placed the phone back down on the receiver, a strange revelation came over her. This was the way her dream began, the dream she'd been having her whole life. Stacey did not give it a second thought, and she used the inter- com to call her mom into the room to help her into her wheelchair. "Mom, can you come up here and help me into the chair?" "In a minute Stacey, I'm in the middle of something." "Ok, just try and hurry please." With that Stacey switched off the intercom and took a minute to think. "Just like all the other dreams I've had.. But those are merely dreams and this is real life. Besides, some of the things that have happened in my dreams, they just can't happen here. That is why I dreamt it..." But no sooner than she finished her thought did a loud piercing siren fill her room. She felt a trembling coming up from the floor, and her bed began to shake violently. Screaming, she tried to grab onto anything she could, but her pillow and covers are all that offer protection. Rising up into the air over her bed, Stacey doesn't know what to think. "Am I awake, or asleep?" Slapping herself in the face, she feels the pain and knows she is awake. A hissing wind breaks open the window and shatters the glass all over the floor. Stacey throws her hands up over her face to protect herself, but she needn't worry, for just like her dreams, no glass will come into contact with her. "Holy shit!," she says aloud, "MOM!" But her mother is unable to hear her, downstairs on the phone, not knowing that anything is amiss upstairs in her daughter's bedroom. An eerie green light fills Stacey's eyesight, and as quickly as it came, the siren and wind disappear. She finds herself lying on the floor of a place she has never been before, but has seen many times. As the blue light clears, she finds herself looking up at Joe. "Joe?" she asks. Looking down on her and smiling he says, "I thought you would never come." Stacey was at a loss for words. She merely sat there on the floor, dumb- founded, thinking of what to say next. No words escaped from Stacey's lips, only her breath. Short breaths was all she could muster, it was as if some- one was keeping the air from her, and only giving her what she needed to get by. And she knew who it was controlling the air, the weather, her body; it was Joe. Was he evil, or was he a heavenly being? Stacey was not able to decide. The only thing she could figure out was that he wasn't the harmless boy who used to sit next to her every day at 5th period lunch. Seeing her squirming on the floor, a smile began to spread across Joe's lips. "Well Stacey, is this everything you had dreamed?" "No, this is.. What do you want? Why am I here?" "Oh Stacey. It is all so difficult. I wouldn't know where to begin. Let me start by asking, Have you ever dreamt of walking? Have you ever wished that one day you'd be able to break free from the captivity of your chair? Have you ever envisioned yourself going for an evening jog on the beach, wa- tching the sun disappear over the horizon?" "God damnit Joe, I can't walk. Of course I have envisioned such things. But tell me, why am I here and what are you doing to me?" Joe did not answer the question, but rather stood there looking at Stacey with a queer grin on his face. After a moment, he turned and started to walk away. Muttering some words underneath his breath, a large throne type chair begin its ascent from the floor. An eerie glow surrounded the chair as it sat govering three feet above the ground. Joe took a look at Stacey, and than at the chair. Raising an eyebrow quizzically, Stacey began to speak, "This is all very amazing, and I recognize it all from dreams from the my past. But there is one thing I don't recognize Joe. You. Who are you? You certainly are not the boy I've grown to love." Immediately after she said the words, she cursed herself for letting them slip. "You, you love me?," Joe stuttered. "I do, at least I love Joe. I do not know who you are. You certainly don't belong here, my dreams tell me that. And you certainly are not Joe, your actions and your words tell me that. So to answer, no. No I do not love you. My love lies with Joe." "But Stacey, do you not recognize me? It is I, Joe. I have loved you for as long as I've known you. I have merely become the man you need to help realize your dreams." "The man I need? I don't need anyone. Just because I'm a cripple doesn't mean that I can't fend for..." And with that Stacey's words broke off and she began to sob. "Stacey, I have taken you away from the world in which you come from. I have taken you away from those who have hurt you, and have brought you to the one who cares from you. But most importantly, I have taken you from a world which has taken your legs, and I have brought you into a world whose soil yearns for your footsteps." It was his last words that caught Stacey off-guard. "My.. my footsteps?" "Yes Stacey, your footsteps. I have brought you into a world where you can walk again." Stacey's hard raced with excitement. She wanted, more than anything, for his words to be true, but there would only be one way to find out. Rolling over onto her stomach, Stacey brought her arms up on front of her head and pushed down on the floor. The moment of truth had arrived. Stacey took a deep breath, and quickly brought her knees to her chest, then bounced up to her feet. Tears welled in her eyes as her lifelong dream had finally been realized. Eighteen years of confinement, eighteen years of sitting and see- ing the others have their fun, eighteen years of pain were now being washed away with each step she took. And as she took each step, the man she looked at became more and more like the Joe she knew. Each step was making her happy, and each step was provided by him. He made her happy. But as quickly as her joy came, even quicker it seemed to vanish. There came a large trembling to the groud, a bright light broke through the dark- ness, an all-too familiar siren pierced her ears, and Joe slowly began to disappear. "Why are you opening the curtains mom? It's Saturday, let me sleep....." Evan Rosler lscodine@juno.com SAUCE00'To Walk Again' Luke Skywalker blade productions 19976u04x!