This is a Lit and Your Not
By Rev. Reverb (SoooooooooLOW!)

  This is the Rev. Reverb advising you to leave the 9-5 rat race and take a
radical step that will change your life...JOIN A CULT!
  Joining a cult with twisted religious beliefs and sick trigger happy
fantasies is not only free but FUN and can be beneficial to you as a human
being. For example, many cults will teach you marksmanship in case someone
from a law enforcement agency shows up, others have wild sex orgies and many
come out of them alive, some use music to enduce their philosophy giving you
the oppurtunity to learn an instrument. Bible study courses are often
provided by both Christian and Satanic cults.
  Cults offer a wide variety of members with which to befriend. Often these
members include young children born into the cult and others who would
strangle each other to death if asked to do so.
  Cults are typically self-sufficient communities in which you can share in
the responsibilities, rights, and privileges) which come with cult living.
Safety and security? Cults typically have their own armies so this is not a
problem. Often their weapons arsenal included thousands of machine guns and
occasionally even missiles.
  I hope that this information has convinced you that cult living is right
for you. If you need help finding a cult, call your local branch of the
Unification church or look under 'Sick Religious Cults' in the Yellow Pages.