ÝtÞo r g o s ÝÞ° °ÝÞ  Û" the cooler." <-- 3leetest title ever a   ÝÞ  ÝÞ      l#09   °ÝÞ °°ÝÞÝ   Ü There is a cooler in my basement, and frankly , e   °ÝÞ°°ÝÞ ±ÜÜÜÝ it scares me. Not that coolers in general scare  s °°° °°   °ÝÞ  ßÛ ß ßßÝ  me, but this particular one does. My m om bought this ÜÜ °ßßÛÞÝ cooler last week, and it has all of the new c ooler  ÜÜÜßß Û ÞÜÜÜÜÝ gadgets, what gadgets can be on a cooler is p ast me. ÜÜÛÛßß Þ°Ý  ÜܲÛßßß  Yes, it's definatley a top of the line  model, and that ÞÞ²²Ý ÝßßÜÜÜ ß is very rare in my house. We never have a top of the  ßßßßßÛ° ß Þßß   line anything. Nothing is never new, either. Our house  Ü ß°ÜÜÜÝÝ  is so old, it came with its own dungeon, tort ure rack  ÜÜÝÝ ßß²² ÜÜincluded. But this co oler, see, is just stupid. It's ÞÞ²²ÜÜß ßÛÛÜÜroughly  the size of a buick, but due to its 'Extra ßß²²ÛÛÜÜÜÜ ²Ý° insulation" and "flavor keepers", it has the volume on ßß²ÜÜßßܱ±Ý the inside of a softball. Just a look at it and I  °°°°  °° Þ±±Ý °Þ°°Ý   st art to hyperventialate. Hyperventilation is indeed  Þ°°°Ý Þ Ý a mystery of nature, just like mouthwash and country  °°°Þ Ý Þ °° western music. When yo u hyperventialte, you have too  Þ°  °°°° °Û     much oxygen in your blood , so your brain dosent tell your ° °   °±±± Þ °°Ýlungs to breathe wh ich can be useful underwater, but then ° °ÛÜÜÜÜÞ²²Ü ±±±Üyou may pass ou t, which can also help you out underwater ° °Û²²ÝßßßÛ²² ܲݰ  unless you forget where  you are and try to breathe  ßßßÛÛÜÜ ßßßÝ Ý again. But this cooler, which probably cost about the  Üß ßß²ÝÝ Þ °same as a large, high grade strategic military weapon, has ßÜÜ ÞÞÛ °Û °a button on the side of it  that not only opens the thing up,  ßß ÜÜ °Û but also starts  some kind of chain reaction in which you get   ÞÜÜ °Û° Ü  this huge light and laser show (with theme mu sic that   °°°Ý° °   ßÜsounds like the theme song from "Th e A Team") that takes   °°  Û°Ý  ÞÝ approxamitely 43 minutes, and during  all of this, the lid   Þ Þ    ß is STILL opening. Then some b ears with muzzles and clowns  Þ°°°°² Ü ß and all sorts of circus related beings and ra ndom woodland  ²°°°²²  creatures climb out of the cooler. Remember, despite its  ²°²  volu me, which is comparable to a grapefruit, somehow mana ges to   fit all of these things inside it . Must be in the way you pack  things, I guess, but then again, it may be a governme nt conspiracy. But I can'ttalk about the government,  becuase I'll hyperventialate, and we can't have THAT ,now can we?