HI, IM PARIAH AND IM OVERWEIGHT ***

well, here i am writing for eclipse. i feel SO
special. as you can imagine, on
such a momentous occasion as being recruited as an eclip
se writer i couldnt holdmy bladder when i got cheeze'
s email offering me the position. since i can also
release some of my asciis (look at them in this pack) i
was elated. anyways..   onto the story....

THE NAKED AIRPORT HIJINX ***

Several months ago while jogging along the trail that go
es past the well known  National Airport in DC my fri
end and i, who had just taken a little E started
daring each other to do stupid things. My dare to him wa
s for him to stick a
sign to his ass saying "gay man looking for sex" which h
e did, and beside a few
odd looks he didnt receive much attention. alas, it was
now my turn to face his
dare.. i shivered as i thought of what sick thing id hav
e to do. then, out of
nowhere he says "go into the airport naked" so.. since i
didnt want to be the   subject of his taunts i said
"okay.. not so bad" and it was left at i would
go to the airport the next day and do my naked dance for
about 30 mins and then
if not already arrested could leave. I struggled to slee
p that night, constantlyreminding myself that tourist
s from abroad would all unite to see my ying yang  th
e next day. i woke early the next day, trotted down to
the airport at the
expected time and after begging to no avail, i went in w
earing a trench coat
a hat (a la cypress hill) and wearing boxers (which woul
d mysteriously fall
later). at first, no one noticed.. obvisouly busy with t
he tasks that being
at an airport entail. however, after awhile people start
ed looking at me funny
at this point i decided it was time to get it over with
and let the boxers drop
so in the blink of an eye FWOOOSH went my t
ommy hill boxers and everyone now
had a clear view of my big penis (okay.. not -that- big)
. now i had everyones

&   ░░ cz

<cut from video tape given to us by the National Airp
ort (c) COMMUNIST CORP '96>
attention and couldnt help remembering the elementary sc
hool days when i was
the misguided bush or plant in all the big thanksgiving
plays 'who would be the
big star now?' i thought in my head. as to be expected i
was soon seized by
airport security and forced to pull up my boxer shorts,
after i was given a
free meal and then asked kindly to leave the airport on
a prepaid metro shuttle
(they gave me the bus money to leave) or else they would
be forced to call the
police. since i had surpassed the needed 30 minutes by a
n hour, i went along anddid what i was told. not unti
l the next morning did i realize how much notorietyi
had received from this little adventure. in the local
newspaper they had a
photo of me (before i let the boxers drop.. my penis was
too big to fit in the
front page) and had an article entitled 'teen plays pran
k on airport'. you
are probably thinking "school must have been a bitch," b
ut in actuality school
was much better after this little incident, i was given
$50.00 by the friend
who first dared me, it turned out all the hot chickz0rs,
and overall everyone
liked me. so.. the point is, if you ever want attention,
just follow my foot
steps and go into your local airport naked. soon i will
be releasing the actual photographs of me naked in th
e airport so all of you can marvel at me and of
course, my big penis. until then, things like this make
the scene as fun as it
can be.. dont bitch about them so much, look how good al
l the strict serious
groups are doing and you might understand.

-- pariahECLIPSE(ex
-SOAP/ACID)