Today's TALES..

ACID HACKED MY HARD DRIVE

HOW TO HAVE YOUR
OWN CHILDREN

SUDDENLY CHANGING YOUR DOGS
FOOD CAN LEAD
UPSET STOMACH OR
EVEN DIARREAHHA@#$%
<pac-man ghost?>

There's this movie on tv right now called 'bloodsport
' or something and
that Van Damme guy is in it and these fighter guys ar
e breaking, yes
breaking each other.  I'm beginning to think it may r
each the eliteness
level of hackers. mabye. kinda. nevermind.

look, i got a new divider bar. bask in its eliteness.

(due to the large divider bar worker's union strike, the div
ider bar will not
be appearing in this episode.)

uhho..   it looks like we'll have to get replacement
divider bars.

on to the story.

SUDDENLY CHANGING YOUR DOGS FOOD CAN LE

no, not that one.

ACID HACKED MY HARD DRIVE

there we go.

%%%%%%%%$$%%%%%%%%%$^replacement divider
bar^

It was a normal day at the apartment.  Arm donut was
listening to Neil Diamond,
I was listening to the three tenors, and everybody el
se was listening to some
freaks who, in their blood stream alone, contained th
e annual illegal
narcotics output of several third world countries.
'bOOM bOOM bOOM bOOM bOOM
bOOM bOOM' went their screeching faces.  T
hen there came a rap rap rapping
at our door.  Splatt answered the door and in came a
a man, around the age of
17 or so.  He was ill.  He also could draw
a decent logo, so we took him in
and put him in bed.  He was asleep for three days, ti
ll he woke up, and asked
for food. Cytral promptly tried to pour some bleach w
ith fighting chlorine
action down his throat, but the stranger told him tha
t eddie, the magical
electrical outlet who gives small rewards to children
who play with other
peoples underwear, wasnt real, and cytral ran off cry
ing.

(for those people who feel that i should be commited to a me
ntal hospital right
about now, just remember, i'm free, and i look JUST LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE
BWHAHAHAHAHA..  =)

So anyway, the mysterious mystery man told us his sto
ry as follows..

(A agreement has been reached between the owners and the div
ider bar worker's
union. the regular divider bars will be appearing shortly)

Well, after deep investigation, i found that the mans
story is straight out
of the book '1945: Year of decisions. Memoirs by Harr
y S. Truman' ..  so i'm
not going to go into it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a,^ your regularly sche
duled divider bar ^

The man, known to us as 'man', soon became a part of
the apartment.  He drew
logos for us regularly, and soon became a member of e
clipse.  Little did we
know that he was having secret meetings with rAd mAn.

Here is part of a taped meeting between man and rAd m
An

man: mother! i have gained their trust!

rm: excellent.  soon my plan will be completed in ful
l!

man: thank you, mother.  soon, we shall repopulate th
e world together!

rm: n.. no..  I'm going to have my own kids by having
several sex changes in
order to get my self pregnant with my own sperm and t
hen after i have my baby
i'm going to become male and do it all over again. yo
ur job is tBZZZZTTT ESDGFC

and that is all there was of the tape.

OH MY GOD IRISH SPRING SPORT BODY SOAP KILLS GERMS THA
T CAUSE BODY ORDER@#!$%

sorry, i got excited.  I love irish spring
. i use their soap and deoderant.
it is the scent of the elite hacker.  that reminds me
, here is what happened
with man and how he haxOred rais hard drive

(whoopZ@!#..  there was a small clause in the contract that
the workers dont
agree to and they are once again on strike.)

well, after about a week, late at night, the man went
into the living room and
haxOred rais computer. he was an elite one, alright..

ohno!# ..  it says 'login' ..  what do i do#$^?//  ..
.  hmm..

NEW

yES@#%?~!  i haxored this system. I gained access to
the url isp trash files.
oh no! the bus cdrom byte modem card linkup has a pas
sword! i'll override it
with the 16bit high ascii virus html code. yes! dos!

c:\format c:
this will HAXOR RAIS HARD DRIVE
do you want to continue? y

and with a flash, he left the building.

%%%%%%%%$$%%%%%%%%%$^replacement divider
bar^

the next morning, rai was so angry that he broke all
my soundtracks and my
three tenors tapes and cds, so i was forced to put hi
m in the scorpion death
lock(also known as the sharpshooter) and due to exces
sive damage caused
by my devastating manuver, rai hasnt spoken or walked
for weeks.

that is the story up until this point. um..  ..  bye.

the endor.

next time you see bra1n, mindcrime, belial, splatt, w
idowmaker, mrm, or cytral
on irc, tell them that i am more elite than them. =)