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  ßÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ 
Today's TALES..                        
ÞÞÛÛßßÛÛ  ÛÛÝ              
                         
  ÛÛÛ  ÛÛ  ÛÛÛBOO!
ACID HACKED MY HARD DRIVE               
ßßßßßßÛÛÜÜÛÛÜÜÛÛÛ /or
                                      
 ÛÛÛÛÛßßÛÛÛÛÛHOW TO HAVE YOUR 
OWN CHILDREN           
 ÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÛÛÛÛÛor            
                          
°²±²ßßÛÛßß²²ß
ßÛSUDDENLY CHANGING YOUR DOGS
 FOOD CAN LEAD
ß   ßß   ßUPSET STOMACH OR
 EVEN DIARREAHHA@#$%
<pac-man ghost?>


There's this movie on tv right now called 'bloodsport
' or something and 
that Van Damme guy is in it and these fighter guys ar
e breaking, yes
breaking each other.  I'm beginning to think it may r
each the eliteness
level of hackers. mabye. kinda. nevermind.

look, i got a new divider bar. bask in its eliteness.


(due to the large divider bar worker's union strike, the div
ider bar will not 
be appearing in this episode.)

uhho..   it looks like we'll have to get replacement 
divider bars.

on to the story.


SUDDENLY CHANGING YOUR DOGS FOOD CAN LE

no, not that one.

ACID HACKED MY HARD DRIVE

there we go.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%a%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%$$%%%%%%%%%$^replacement divider 
bar^



It was a normal day at the apartment.  Arm donut was 
listening to Neil Diamond,
I was listening to the three tenors, and everybody el
se was listening to some
freaks who, in their blood stream alone, contained th
e annual illegal 
narcotics output of several third world countries.
  'bOOM bOOM bOOM bOOM bOOM
bOOM bOOM' went their screeching faces.  T
hen there came a rap rap rapping
at our door.  Splatt answered the door and in came a 
a man, around the age of
17 or so.  He was ill.  He also could draw
 a decent logo, so we took him in
and put him in bed.  He was asleep for three days, ti
ll he woke up, and asked
for food. Cytral promptly tried to pour some bleach w
ith fighting chlorine 
action down his throat, but the stranger told him tha
t eddie, the magical 
electrical outlet who gives small rewards to children
 who play with other
peoples underwear, wasnt real, and cytral ran off cry
ing.  

(for those people who feel that i should be commited to a me
ntal hospital right
about now, just remember, i'm free, and i look JUST LIKE
 EVERYONE ELSE 
BWHAHAHAHAHA..  =)

So anyway, the mysterious mystery man told us his sto
ry as follows..

(A agreement has been reached between the owners and the div
ider bar worker's 
union. the regular divider bars will be appearing shortly)

Well, after deep investigation, i found that the mans
 story is straight out 
of the book '1945: Year of decisions. Memoirs by Harr
y S. Truman' ..  so i'm
not going to go into it.

_.,Ös%#S$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a,^ your regularly sche
duled divider bar ^

The man, known to us as 'man', soon became a part of 
the apartment.  He drew
logos for us regularly, and soon became a member of e
clipse.  Little did we  
know that he was having secret meetings with rAd mAn.
..
Here is part of a taped meeting between man and rAd m
An

man: mother! i have gained their trust!

rm: excellent.  soon my plan will be completed in ful
l!

man: thank you, mother.  soon, we shall repopulate th
e world together!

rm: n.. no..  I'm going to have my own kids by having
 several sex changes in
order to get my self pregnant with my own sperm and t
hen after i have my baby
i'm going to become male and do it all over again. yo
ur job is tBZZZZTTT ESDGFC

and that is all there was of the tape.

OH MY GOD IRISH SPRING SPORT BODY SOAP KILLS GERMS THA
T CAUSE BODY ORDER@#!$%

sorry, i got excited.  I love irish spring
. i use their soap and deoderant.
it is the scent of the elite hacker.  that reminds me
, here is what happened 
with man and how he haxOred rais hard drive

(whoopZ@!#..  there was a small clause in the contract that 
the workers dont
agree to and they are once again on strike.)

well, after about a week, late at night, the man went
 into the living room and
haxOred rais computer. he was an elite one, alright..
  
ohno!# ..  it says 'login' ..  what do i do#$^?//  ..
 .  hmm..  

NEW

yES@#%?~!  i haxored this system. I gained access to 
the url isp trash files.
oh no! the bus cdrom byte modem card linkup has a pas
sword! i'll override it
with the 16bit high ascii virus html code. yes! dos! 

c:\format c:
this will HAXOR RAIS HARD DRIVE 
do you want to continue? y

and with a flash, he left the building.


%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%a%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%$$%%%%%%%%%$^replacement divider 
bar^

the next morning, rai was so angry that he broke all 
my soundtracks and my
three tenors tapes and cds, so i was forced to put hi
m in the scorpion death
lock(also known as the sharpshooter) and due to exces
sive damage caused
by my devastating manuver, rai hasnt spoken or walked
 for weeks.

that is the story up until this point. um..  ..  bye.


the endor.





next time you see bra1n, mindcrime, belial, splatt, w
idowmaker, mrm, or cytral
on irc, tell them that i am more elite than them. =)
SAUCE00tales from the apartment! YAY!     torgo               eclipse             19961014H 

P}