ÜÜÛ Û Ü ß Ü Û ßÛÜßßÜÜ  ÜÜÛÜÜ ßÛÜ Ü       ßÜÜÛ Üß ßÛÛÜ ß ÜÜܲ°Ü  ÜÜ ÜÜ Ü  Ü °²ÜÜÜ ßßÜ ÜßÜÛ ß ÜÜ°²²²ÛÛ² Ý ÛÛÛß ÛÜÜ  Þ ²ÛÛ²²²°ÜÜ    ±Ü  ܲ²°±² ßßÜܲ²Û  ß ßß ß ÜÜÜÜ       ÜÜÜÜ Û²²ÜÜßß ²±°²²Ü ÜÜ ÛÜ Üß ß²² ±²²²ÛÛÛÛ ÜÜ  ÜÜÛ²±±²ÛÛÜ Ü²°±² Ü ÜÛÛ²±±²ÛÜÜ ÜÜÛÛÛÛ²²²± ² ²ß  ßÜ Û Ü ß   Û°²Ûßßß²²Û ÛÛÛÛÛß ÜÜßßß²²ÛÜÜ ²ÛÜÜÛ²²ßßßÜÜ ß ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²ßßßÛ²°ÛÜ  Ü ÜÛÜ ÜÛ±ÛÛ  ±ßÜÜÜÜßßß °²°°±Ü ÜÜÜßßßßßßßßÜÜÜܱ°°²±  ßßßÜÜÜÜß± ÛÛ±ÛÜ  ÜÛÜ  ÛÜ ßßÛÜÜÜÜÛÛÛ²ÛÛÝ°°°  Û°° ßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ßßßßß ßßß ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßÛß °° ° °ÞÛÛ²ÛÛÛÜÜÜÛ Ûßß  ÜÜß Û²ÛÜÜÜÛÛÛ²²ÛÛ ±°°°ß   ßß  °° Ûßßß°ßßßß°°ßßßß  °ßß  ² ° ß°°° ÛÛ²²ÛÛÛÜÜÜ Û²Û   Û Ü ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÛÝÞ ±²²Ý° ÜÜ  °Þ  °   ±°° ß    ° °  Ý   ° Ü ²±ÝÞÛÛ²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß  Ü ÜÛ ßßßÛÛÛÛ²±±°ÛÛ ²Û ÛÛ ° °ß   °Ý  ° °Þ °°   °ß  ܱ°      ßÛÛ² ÛÛ°±±²Û ÛÛÛßßß  Ûß ÛÛ ßßÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±²ÛÝÞÛÛÛ Ý°°  ܱ     ±±Ý°    ß°²± ° ²  ÜÛÝÞÛ²±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛß ß  Ü Ûßß ßßßÛÛÛÛÛ²ÜÛÛÜÜ ßßßÜÜÜÜÜÛÛ² ° ²  ²²Ý ° °±  Û²  ÜÜÛÜßßßÜÜÛÛܲÛÛ ÛÛßßßß  ÛÛÜ ÛÛ  ßÛÛÜÜÛÛßÛÛÜÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜßß ßßßßÜÜÛÜÜÛ²ÛÝ ÜܲÜÜßßßßßÜÜÜÜÛÛÛÛÜÛÛß ÛÛÛÛÛÛß   ÜÜÛÛÜ   ÜÜÛÛÛÜßßÛÜßß²²²Û Û²²²ÛÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßÜÜÜ ÜÜÛ²²²ÛÛ²²²ßßÜÛßßÜÛÛÛÜÜ  ß ßßÜÜ  ßÛßßßÛÛÜÜÛÜ ßßßßßÛ ²²²ÛÛ²²²²ÛÛ²²²Ûßßßßß ÜÛÜÜÛÛÛÛÜÜß  ß ßÛÛßßßÜÛ ßÜÜ ßßßÜÜÛßßÛÜ ßÜÜ  ßßßßßß  ÜÛßßÛÜÜßßß ßß Ü ÜÛÜßßÛÜ ßßÛßÜÜ  ßßßÛÛÜ ß I L L U S T R A T E D ÜÛÛßßß crn(dark) Û ÛÜÜ ÜÜÜ  ß   ß  ÛÛ ß December 96  ÜÛ ÛÛ ßßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü ÜßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ  Û Ûß ÛÛÛ ÜÛ ß Information  ÛÜÜ ßÛß ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßß ßÛÛÜÜ ß ßÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û  ÛÜÜÜÛ   ÛÜ ßÜ  ÛÛ ÛÜ ßßÛÛ  ÛÛ Üß ß ß Û ÜÜß'I'm waiting for the night to fall; ÜÜßÜÛ I know that it could save us all. ßÜÜ Ü When everything's dark, ÛßßÜÜ We forget the stark  ÛÜßÜ reality.' Û ÜÜÜ ßß ÜßWelcome back, Darkfriends! We at DAR K Illustrated are sorry ßÛÜÛÜto hear that many art scene denizens were unable to get their Û ßÛÜhands on the popular "Tickle-Me-E lmo(tm)" doll they so ÜÜÛÜÜdesperately wanted this Christmas. H owever, we are pleased to ßÜÜÛ announce that former mall-Santa P rison Breaker, in a show of ßßÜ Üholiday cheer, offers two facsimiles:  "Nerve-Gas-Me-Arzach(tm)"    ±Ü and "Draw-Me -An-ANSI-The-Green-Hornet(tm)". Only $19.95 each, ÜÜ ÛÜplus shipping and handling. (Canadian  residents please add GST ÛÛÜß and provincial sales tax) ß ßÜÜ ßß Ü Incidently, we're hoping that the REA L Santa Claus brought Û ÛÜÜsome hardware for a few of the good D ARK members this month! ÛÛ ßClark, Essential Obscenit y, and Free Fall had all been  ÜÛ ßrecently immobilized on account of se rious computer-related ÛÜÜÜÛproblems. Meanwhile, Samurai  needs the *other* kind of Û Ûß    hardware to build a shed in his backyard, to store all his ÛßßÜÜ   really sharp swords! ß ÛÜÜ Û ÛÜÜIn other news, while The Prodigy  has only been in the group ÛÛ ßfor little over a month, he has made a lot of progress, showing  ÜÛ ßeveryone that he certainly lives up t o his name! Prior to ÛÜÜÜÛjoining DARK, apparently, every time he saw a commercial for ÛÛ ÛÜthe Hair Club For Men, he'd feel this  strangely overwhelming  ÛÛ Üdesire to kill the Pope. Likewise, Seraphim often spoke with us Û ÜÜßabout considering all the blades of g rass he'd stepped on as a ÜÜßÜÛchild, worrying that their ancestors were going to one day seek ßÜÜ Ürevenge. (As we understand it, C yber X just smokes the stuff!) ÛßßÜÜ  ÛÜßÜThankfully, both are doing a little b etter now! Like the rest Û ÜÜÜof us, they've learned to become more  stable, social members of ßß Üßsociety; always remembering to apolog ize to their next door ßÛÜÛÜneighbor for setting fire to his lawn  decorations, after howling Û ßÛÜmadly at the full moon, while wearing  boxer shorts on their heads ÜÜÛÜÜto ward off the evil dandruff spirits . ßÜÜÛ  ßßÜ ÜWe'd also like to congratulate vetera n artist Acidic Soap and    ±Üformer DARK courie r Critical Illusion on finally getting th eir ÜÜ ÛÜboard, Savage Exile, back up and running again! It's only been ÛÛÜßtwo years, but hey, who's counting?  ß ßÜÜ ßß Ü  The DARK Senior Squad is looking  forward to crashing Pyxis' Û ÛÜÜhouse-warming party in Miami, though the city is reportedly too ÛÛ ßcrass for even Sylvester Stallone (an d his baby daughter). All  ÜÛ ßDARK members are invited to "attend,"  and are welcome to draw ÛÜÜÜÛon the computer while present. As th is is *not* expected to be Û Ûß a formal DARK event, please bear in m ind that transportation for ÛßßÜÜthe whole group will NOT be provided.  Grail's studio-warming ß ÛÜÜparty, however, will be a totally dif ferent story altogether. Û ÛÜÜ(But bring your own trampoline!) ÛÛ ß  ÜÛ ßIn coding news, we have always found Wayne Kerr to be a ÛÜÜÜÛstrong coder with DARK. Unbeknownst to most, he is also an ÛÛ ÛÜexceptional musician in Adlib music.  His "Music Box" feature  ÛÛ Üpresentation (filename: MUSICBOX. EXE), in this month's Û ÜÜßCollection, provides a glimpse at jus t how multi-talented he ÜÜßÜÛreally is. Be sure to check it out!  While you're at it, take a ßÜÜ Ülook at the very first VGAs that  Oxygene, DARK's Coding Head, and ÛßßÜÜmyself (Carnifex) have conjured up!  ÛÜßÜ Û ÜÜÜThis is it; the last Collection of th e year. We hope 1996 has ßß Üßbeen as interesting and fun-filled a year for you as it has been ßÛÜÛÜfor us! As Xypher Matryx wou ld say, "Arrrrgh. I'll kick your Û ßÛÜteeth in and stomp on your guts." Hr mmm. Actually, I think that ÜÜÛÜÜwhen Xypher says that, what he's real ly means is: "Normal is what ßÜÜÛ everyone else is, and we are not." ßßÜ Ü     ±ÜNow just si t back, turn off the lights...  ÜÜ ÛÜ  and enjoy th e Dark. ÛÛÜß -- ß ßÜÜCarnifex ßß Ü Senior Staff, DARK Illustrated Û ÛÜÜ   ÛÛ ßÛÜ ÜÛ  ÜÛ ß ß Ü Û ÛÜÜÜÛÛßÜÛßÛÛÜßßÛÜÜß ß ÛÛ ßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü Ü ßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ Û Ûß ÛÛÛ  Û ÛÛß ÜßßÜÜ ßÜÛ ÛÛßß ß Ûß ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßßßÛÛÜÜ  ß ßÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û  ÛßßÜÜÛßÛÜß ß ÛÜÜ New Members ÛÜÛßÜ ÛÛ ÛÜ   ÛÜÛßÜ   ÛÛ Ü ß ÛÛ Û ÜÜßßÜ Ûß ÜÜßÜÛßß  ßÜÜ ÜJoining the Army of Darkness this mon th are Cybershock, ÛßßÜÜHolister, Mimes, and Shadow Hawk. We hope these soldiers enj oy  ÛÜßÜthe food; we know you won't find brea d and water of the same Û ÜÜÜcalibre anywhere else! (Burnout  the Cook would like to remind you ßß Üßto kiss the chef, before Armagedd on Donut serves his Dairy Queen ßÛÜÛÜdessert...)  Û ßÛÜ ÜÜÛÜÜ* Cybershock . The VGA Department is simply shocked to its ßÜÜÛ cybernetic core by the addition of Cy bershock, an aspiring new ßßÜ ÜPhotoshop artist. His artwork is qui te promising, and he promises    ±Üus that we'll be s eeing more from him in the near future. ÜÜ ÛÜ ÛÛÜß* Holister. Holis ter, the newest member of DARK's Coding Team, ß ßÜÜhas been focusing his time and talent  on a personal project to ßß Ü  date, but we expect to see some impressive produc tions in the near Û ÛÜÜfuture, during his time off. ÛÛ ß(NOTE: HOLISTER and HALASTER are two entirely different  ÜÛ ßidentities. While they may very well  be the same person in ÛÜÜÜÛReal Life, they are two separate enti ties in cyberspace and Û Ûß would like to be recognized as such.) ÛßßÜÜ ß ÛÜÜ* Mimes. Not too lon g ago, the DARK Senior Squad was pleasantly Û ÛÜÜsurprised to find a bubbling baby grr rl at our doorsteps. Now, ÛÛ ßtwo months later, she has been offici ally adopted by the group  ÜÛ ßand given the name Mimes (pronounced "meemz"). Mimes is proud ÛÜÜÜÛto be DARK's first, and *only* offici al cheerleader. ÛÛ ÛÜ  ÛÛ Ü* Shadow Hawk. Sh adow Hawk brings his unbridled enthusiasm and Û ÜÜßpersonal drive to DARK's ANSI Departm ent. Another aspiring new ÜÜßÜÛartist, we think he's a real diamond in the rough! ßÜÜ Ü ÛßßÜÜIt seems that the group has been grac ed this month by a new  ÛÜßÜmember in every department but Music.  Could this be a sign that Û ÜÜÜJimmy Hoffa has really taken up with Elvis Presley and are rooming ßß Üßtogether in Brampton, Ontario? More on this in the future; ßÛÜÛÜ Agent 77 of the D-Files wil l continue the investigation, while Û ßÛÜGarroter is expected to suppl y us with an update in 0-3 days. ÜÜÛÜÜ ÛÛ ßÛÜ ÜÛ  ÜÛ ß ß Ü Û ÛÜÜÜÛÛßÜÛßÛÛÜßßÛÜÜß ß ÛÛ ßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü Ü ßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ Û Ûß ÛÛÛ  Û ÛÛß ÜßßÜÜ ßÜÛ ÛÛßß ß Ûß  ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßßßÛÛÜÜ ß ßÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û   ÛßßÜÜÛßÛÜß ß ÛÜÜ The D-Files ÛÜÛßÜ ÛÛ ÛÜ   ÛÜÛßÜ   ÛÛ Ü ß ÛÛ Û ÜÜßßÜ Ûß ÜÜßÜÛßß  ÛÜÜÜÛ Strange-But-True: Û Ûß A whale's penis is called a dork. ÛßßÜÜ ß ÛÜÜThe saying "It's so cold out there it  could freeze the balls Û ÛÜÜoff a brass monkey" came from when th ey had old cannons like ones ÛÛ ßused in the Civil War. The cannonbal ls were stacked in a pyramid  ÜÛ ßformation, called a brass monkey. Wh en it got extremely cold ÛÜÜÜÛoutside, they would crack and break o ff... Thus the saying. ÛÛ ÛÜ  ÛÛ Ü"Stewardesses" is the longest word th at is typed with only the Û ÜÜß left hand. ÜÜßÜÛ ßÜÜ Ü ÛßßÜÜMedieval Pick-up Line #62:  ÛÜßÜ Yes, that was a good hanging wasn't it? Of course, if you come to Û ÜÜÜ my place, I can show you something t hat's really well hung! ßß Üß ßÛÜÛÜStone Age Pick-up line #16: Û ßÛÜ Say, baby, I may be no Fred Flintsto ne, but I'd sure like to make ÜÜÛÜÜ your bedrock! ßÜÜÛ  ßßÜ Ü    ±Ü While DARK Il lustrated does not guarantee that the above ÜÜ ÛÜ pick-up lines will necessarily work for you under all ÛÛÜß circumstances (we can't *all* be Mac k Daddy's, or Daddymac's), ß ßÜÜrumours have it that Purple Dye  has achieved quite a degree of ßß Ü success. (It probably had something t o do with his inspiring ÛÛ ßDARK 1996: Summer of Hate World Tour T-Shirt!) ÜÜÛÜÜÜÜ ÛÛ ßÛÜÛÛÛ  ÜÛ ß ß Ü Û ÛÜÜÜÛÛßÜÛßÛÛÜßßÛÜÜß ß ÛÛ ßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü Ü ßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ Û Ûß ÛÛÛ  Û ÛÛß ÜßßÜÜ ßÜÛ ÛÛßß ß Ûß  ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßßßÛÛÜÜ ß ßÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û   ÛßßÜÜÛßÛÜß ß ÛÜÜ  Filenames  ÛÜÛßÜ ÛÛ ÛÜ  ÛÜÛßÜ   ÛÛ Ü   Üß ÛÛ  Û ÜÜß  ÜÛÛÛÛ ÜÜßÜÛ ßßß  ÛÜßÜÜFilenames work like this: XXXXX- ##.DRK ßÜÜ Û Ü ÛÛ XXXXX - ÜÛ ÛÛ five characters we hope represent  an artists' name adequately. ÜÜÛ ß ÜÜßßÛ## - ßÛÛ Û2-digit number representing the numbe r of releases this artist ÛÜÜÜÛhas had since 01/96. (The counter wi ll be reset once the new ß ÛÜ year begins) ß ÛÛÜÜ ß ÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÜÜÜÛß Ü Û ßÛÛ ßÛÛÜÛßÛÛÜßßÛÜÜß ß ÛÛ ßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü Ü ßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ Û Ûß ÛÛÛ  ÜÜßßÛ ÜßßÜÜ ßÜÛ ÛÛßß ß  Ûß ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßßßÛÛÜÜ ß ßÛÛ Ü Ü ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û  ÜÜÛ ßÛßÛÜß ß ÛÜÜ  DAR'chives  ÛÜÛßÜ ÛßßÜÜ ÛÜßß  ß ÛÛß ÛÜÜÜÛThe Lethal Aspect   World Headquarters   Xypher Matryx  ÜÛ ßThe Regency     Internet Headquarters  Halaster  ÛÛ ßClockwork DARK Member Board  Seraphim  ÜÛ ßMad Cows?!?DARK Member Board  Night Stalker ÛÜÜÜÛSavage ExileDARK Member Board  Acidic Soap Û ÛÛßSight & Sound  DARK  Member Board   Drone-Fly ÛßßÜÜSpecial Sauce DARK Member  Board Samurai ß ÛÜÜThe Way Station DARK Member  Board The Anarchist ÛÛ ÛÜ  ÛÛ Ü Û ÜÜßIn addition to getting the Collection s from the above DARK- ÜÜßÜÛaffiliated BBS's, DARK Collections ca n be obtained from The ÛÜßÜÜRegency, Halaster's telnet-BBS. To r each DARK's Internet HQ, ßÜÜ Ûtelnet or FTP to tregency.res.cmu .edu.  ßÛ Û ÜÜßßÛThe latest DARK Collections are also supported on the ACiD Art ÜÜÛ ßScene Archives, under ftp.cdrom.c om\pub\artpacks\incoming \artpacks. ÜÜÛ Û ß ÛÛBe sure to drop by #dark, on IRC, whe re you can trade DARK ß ÛÜ Collections, and/or submit new member  applications. DARK members ÛÜÜÜÛand fans alike can be found here idli ng, chatting, or behaving in ÜÜ Û bizarre manner, as always.  ÛÛß  ÛÜ For more detailed information on DARK Illustrated, please take a ÛÛÛßÛlook at DRK-FAQ1.705, the lat est version of our Frequently Asked ÜÜßßÛQuestions list, included in this Coll ection.  ßÛ ÛÜÜÜ Ü ÛÜÜÜÛ ß Û Ü Û ÛÛßÛßÜÛßÛÛÜßßÛÜÜß ß ÛÛ ßÛÜÜßÛßÜÛßÛß Ü Ü ßÛßßÛÜ ÛÛ ÛÜßÛ Ü Ü Üß ÛßÛ Û Ûß ÛÛÛ  ÛßßÜÜ ÜßßÜÜ ßÜÛ ÛÛßß ß Ûß  ÛÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜßßßÛÛÜÜ ß ßÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÜ ßÛÛßßÜÜ Û   ß ÛÜÜÛßÛÜß ÛÛ ÛÜDedication ÛÜÛßÛ  ÛÛ Ü ÛÜ ÛÛ  Û ÜÜß   ßßß  ÜÜßÜÛ "As far as we can discer n, the sole purpose Û Ûß  of human existence is to kindl e a light of ÛßßÜÜ meaning in the darkness of  mere being." ß ÛÜÜ (C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams , Reflections) Û ÛÜÜ ÛÛ ß This Collection is dedicated  to Oxygene,  ÜÛ ß Not one to take the easy way  out; ÛÜÜÜÛ One who chooses to take acti on rather than  Û ÜÜ simply accepting things the w ay they are. ßÛÛ ÜÜÜÜ  ÜÛ  ßÜÛ Ü ÜÜÜÜÜ ÛßÛ ÛÛÜ  Û ÜÜßßÛÛß Ü ßß ÛÛ ßÛÛ ÜÜÛÛßßßÜßÛßÜÛ ßÛß Ü ÜßÛßßÛÜÛÜÜÛßßÜÜß ÜßÛÛ ÜÜßßßÛÛ   ßßÜÜÜß ÛÛÛ ßÛ Û Û ßÛÛÜÜÛÛ ÛßÜÛ ÛÛ ÜÛ ÜÛÜÜ Ûß ÛÜ ÜÛßßÜ Ü Ü  Ü ÜÜÜÜßßßÛÛÜÜÜßßÜ In next month's info file, Epitaph will ins truct you on how to  clone your neighbor's wife in six easy steps . This project promises to be an exciting weekend full of fun and profit. Common kitchen utensils will be all you need.  In the meantime, we'll raise you a glass of fine br andy to you all, and wish you the best in '97. We have a f eeling it's going to be a kick-ass year. ;> ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ  ...DARKillus trated 1996 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ  SAUCE00DARK Information Multiple Authors DARK Illustrated 19961231e[