t  h  e
e  d  g  e  .  .  .

+#@!the edge is published monthly as an inform
ational text on blade productions$

+the edge - the blade informational textfile - vol
ume 3 / issue 7

"information?! we don't need no steeeenkin' informat
ion!"

contents -

1. the edge (volume 3, issue 7)
2. the members (september, 1996)
3. the affiliates (september, 1996)

tionsincintheninesix@!#$^

it's another o-so radical k-krazy monkey

kookie month. ton
s-o-stuff has been going on

this month, and we're going to tell you eve
ry

single happy-go-monkey thing that h
appened--

a few things that didn't happen...

but we wanted to!

but first, we'll s
tart with the blade

info file
contest-o-ansi-o-the-stars-o. the

first person (or thing) to tell us what the
hel

this is, gets to have edic
ius draw them an ansi of

a cupcake?

oh, this has been one silly month over here
at

the blade western hotdog shop. m
indcrime got his

nose pierced and posed with mr
. beaver just befor

going for a ride on the happy-
bus.

i got my license this month, and as our beloved ole

buddy, kiwi said, "better stay off the si
dewalks...

hell, stay off your lawn!"

so there i was, man... on top of the wave, and there

was no where left to go but down! then, all of

the sudden, there i was. i was flyin', man. i

thought i was dead... going home to davey jonas'

locker. just then, man, i came back up, gasping for

air, still on my board! i beat the sea, man...i

beat it!

... and then mindcrime did the macerena with al
ternateens atth
ebowling alley!

who said there was no such thing as "peer pressure"
? You should have seen
grey hawk bow down to the might of the combin
ed "peer pressure" of
edicius, mindcrime, and myself
, and draw an ansi. not only one ansi, though,
we got grey hawk to d
raw us quite a few of them!

then grey hawk wouldn't let me drive his ca
r!jerk! so thenwe challenge
dhim to a drag-race in mindcrime's car.
i still haven't been able to figure
out how he beat me... all i can do is blame it on mi
ndcrime's
car. but... since grey hawk and i
have the same car... i guess it'scoo
lthat i know that i can beat mindcrime i
n a race!

... or as our ex-buddy and most excellent
ansi scene trend setting friend, chromatik, wou
ld say, "the sun
smiles down on the fields of the lord."

edicius shaved!

ught that

different person, but... as soon as he

started telling us a story, we knew it wa
s him.

is that weed?!

introducing the "official"

blade air-hockey team, the screaming wont
ons,

including:

ckey puck

1. belial
2. grey hawk
3. dimes
4. mindcrime
5. edicius
6. lucifer

if your petty little cheese-filled ansi group is monk
ey enough, come play
us! i challenge you to a duel!you c
an find us at either fun time america, i
ncliffwood beach, nj, or at t
he bowling alley (does that place even
have a name?), in hazlet, nj.say yo
u're looking for the screaming wonton
sand their pet pimp, quafajawahlahikee

new blade contest... what's that say up there?

on a lighter note, lucifer only weighs
80 pounds.

did you ever hear a song and like it? yeah... me too.

blade makes the news!

in our first step towards world domination[tm], bl
ade
attacked iraq by dropping some bombs on the
ir doorstep.
kiwi was seen running from the scene
,wearing a funky cyan turban.

on a related issue, dimes, blade's official

hard drive hurler, scored a perfect 10 and

captured blade's first ever

GOLD medal. however, later that

day, dimes also decided to join thedecathalo

after finishing dead last,

and utterly humiliating himself,dimes ha

his GOLD medal stripped from him and

was then laughed out of the olympics.

later that night,
the blade staff got revenge"blade l
aunches their
and blew up the evil plot
for world
olympics and took dimes'
domination."
medal back for him! way to go dimes!

no greetz?!

"belial's leaving the scene letter" by belial

i'm fed up! i'm leaving the scene. you're all a bunch
of hog-wild
gluttonous pigs with no hearts whatsoever!

you're all probably communists, too!

i have a life! i just don't sit in front
of my computer all day and talk on ir
c! i have, like, 20
girlfriendsand i'm so busy getting sex tha
t i
don't have time to draw ansi!when
i'm not banging my girlfriend, i'm smoking
weed!i have an 18
foot bong. me and my friends
get inside of it!

i have to leave the scene. i just don't have the time anym
ore.
i've really been busy, and now
that college is coming up... it's just not going to work
anymore. i have to get a job and pay for my
apartment, my car,
and everything else. i just don't
have the time, anymore.

-- belial (gone from the scene forever!

also leaving blade this month.. .

.. is kuma, who was captured by a group of milit
ant monkeys and
taken to their secret island, deep in the middle of the gr
eat lake
eerie. after a brief run-in with the local governmen
t, kuma
escaped the island by becoming a chef and
feeding the locals (who were all bann
ed from the
local boards because they aren't ld) a
meal of liverworst spiked with ellisdee
, knocking out all of
monkeys. upon returning to the safety of his home, k
uma left once
again for the hills of columbia, where he joine
d the
priesthood and walks around with his trusty goa
t.

.. is dr. kevorkian, who finally bought his free
dom and decided that
he was going west... to europe.

.. is sodium, who joined a local militia. howeve
r, after getting hit
with a brick by co-militia member, lord jazz,
sodiu
mdecided to search for the fabled fount
ain of youth[tm].

"and the man said add the funk?!"

why don't they make an irc channel calle
d
"#ansiwarez"?

wouldn't that
solve so many problems!

on a personal note, i'd like to welcome each and eve
ry one of the
new blade members.. .

.. like widowmaker, who was taught in the finest
russian ansi schools.

.. likerisu, who proved that beavers actually
can talk!

.. like pariah, the ex-president of a small isla
nd nation in new
england.

.. like exar kun, who's heading the america
n gigolo movement in
saudi arabia.

.. like the natural, who's still paying off some
baseball park in
the breadbasket for fucking shit up[tm]

..like brain eater, who eats brains... and ha
ving the hair shaped int
oa round bushy mass.

.. like q, who's taking time off from star
trek, to give us his
omnipresent ascii powers.

.. liketourian, who's taking time off from an
avid fly-fishing
schedule to help drowning children.

.. like zempf, who decided that it was too cold
hiking in the
himayalas, and would rather be
sell fruit on highway 69 in roswell, new
mexico.

.. like GREY HAWK, who was given back to ea
rth by a group of angsty
aliens complaining that he never did
anything and would rather listen to orbital tha
n actually
orbit anything!

i hope you all enjoy your stay with blade, and
if you ever move
to 908, nj, y
ou can even hang out with
mindcrime, edicius, grey hawk
, and myself!hell, sometim
es you can
even hang out with soul
seeker, lucifer, eggy, dime
s, and us!

all in all, 908 addds up to some very 31337
times.

maybe one day... <thinking>... edicius
and i
will get together and jot down some of the shit
that
happens to us! like when the guy
at the wawa told mindcrime he dr
opped his rock.
or when grey hawk got beane
d in the head with my
air-hockey mallet.

.. anyway, this has been one hell of a month for
blade.i'd like to
congratulate everyone on a job WELL d
one. especially
kiwi for one most awesome
ansi! i'm still pissed that you
didn't greet me, you bitch! see if i
ever try to sell you cologne at the 7-11.

->   at the new blade webpage at:

htt
p://www
.exit10
9.com/~
mike/b
lade

complete with phresh gnu
graphics
by mindcrime hisself!

okay, i'm done! enjoy the pack or i'll send a swarm of
killer locusts
upon you to rip out
your soul and feed it to a colony of
caterpillars.

-- belial
, not that kookie albino
!(graphics by subconsciousness, ki
wi, an
dmindcrime)

... now for a few words by home skillet #1,
kiwi.. .

We are Blade! i have a box of cookies!

------ -------  --    - Divider bar fun. -     --  ----

Personal news about kiwi. because he is board.
ok, i started a new school and am all alone in a cold crue
l world, so
instead of being social i did the ansi that sits in the pac
k from me.
yae. and my 17 birthday is this month! *cheers* umm..

oh, and Enya and Danzig complement eac
h other strangely, who woulda known?

************ SPECIAL RE

Cookies have been found to cause rectal complicatio
ns when jammed in the
asphyncter in batches of 3 or more. please be aware of this
situation and
take the proper precautions before trying out the "Asian Ca
rtwheel" posi-
tion with your favorite cookie. This special report has bee
n brought to
you buy pop retarts, the regurgated snack. now back to our
dumbass news-
file.

******* THAT WAS A
SPECIAL REPORT **

umm... cookie...

------DIVIDE *THIS*

You want to see an asni.. an ansi

of that cookie. don't you. yeesss.. you do.

<--- ummm,... cookie...

elooks like edicius after he
shaves his goetee! -b3

THIS JUST IN:

metallic blood, arrested last tuesday in
connection with the bombing of
twa flight 800, HAS BEEN FREED! AMEN, MY BROTHER! the jud
ge
determined that he was of sound mind and body, and that it
was
highly unlikely that he commited the henious crime.
little did they know, blade
replaced the real metallic blood with a pro
toype
bot that we had been working on for some time. embee
is still
extremely insane, and will continue to be so for the
remainded of his stay with blade.

the blade quest for world domination continues...

blade productions, september 1996 :

ish@mindport.netascii artist

aninimal@cris.com  high resolution

lial@cybercomm.netsenior staff

...........ansi artist

.......ascii artist

.............. alumnus

rsuit@xmission.comansi artist

darky@execpc.com  coding coordinator

deadsoul@liii.commusic coordinator

diamond@skidmore.edudumb code/olympics

.......... edi@cybercomm.netsenior staff
errant angel ...........aliche@wctcln
x.waukesha.tec.wi.ussenior staff
exar kun........................... koond
og@ix.netcom.com  ascii artist

.......alumnus

gamals@oakland.eduinfo. services

..............alumnus

ohnmacarthur@why.netascii artist

grey@infi-pos.comansi/ascii artist

.......info. services

..............ascii artist
ilsundal ......................root@a
lfheim.csionline.comuseless informatio

kiwi.justice@sylvania.sev.organsi/good head

disco@javanet.comhigh resolution
lonestar .......................... ttot
h@earth.execpc.comliterature

cifer@injersey.comansi/ascii artist
mass murderer ...........................
murd@digifro.comansi/ascii artist

k2112@cris.comascii coordinator
metalchic ................metalchic@a
lfheim.csionline.comtape halo maker
metallic blood .............................
.............. global coordinator
mindcrime ....................
........... mike@exit109.compresident/fou
nder

e15@usa.pipeline.comhigh resolution
neo negro ...................... infinit
y@elobservador.comansi/ascii artist

...........ascii artist
pennywise ..........................pennywis
e@malum.ab.caansi artist

...........lit/ascii artist
raveged wanderer ..................................
.......high resolution

...........ascii artist

....... info. services
soul seeker ........................s
oulman@cybercomm.netsenior staff
subconsciousness ...........................
.............. ansi coordinator

...........ascii artist

geocities.comvga coordinator

tourian@ole.net vga artist
tron powerhouse ......................... trone
pic@tir.comliterature

virago@juno.comlit coordinator

.........ansi artist

modex.com ascii artist

* - several people have been deleted from this list du
e to inactivity.
this does not necassarily constitue removal from the group

the affiliates, september 1996 :

alderaan (908) (mindcrime) -
galactic temple
apocalypse (201) (napalm)
- eastern shrine
harvest moon (216) (qur'an
) -  central shrine
cool dudes inc. (613) (misc. du
des) - canadian shrine
neo tokyo (+32) (tasmaniac
) - european shrine
arcane (+61) (intense) -
australian shrine
prevail (   ) (rex
) - swedish shrine
mental overdose (+32) (zarkof
) - belgian shrine
altconn (+55) (starfox) -
brazilian shrine
ravebase (+41) (maverick)
- swiss shrine
optical illusion (+47) (pyx
) - norwegian shrine

evil intentions (408) (betrayer
) - distribution outpost
twist of fate (810) (flare
) - distribution outpost
the rebel base (xxx) (luke skyw
alker) - distribution outpost

email - mike@exit109.com
blade www home page  -  http://www.exit109.com/~m
ike/blade

kiwi'96

blade productions
- putting the phear back in art!