The following is a collection
 of"actual excuse notes from 
parents (including spelling)"from 
the Office of WICKED at QUEEN's
My son is under a doctor's care and
 should not take P.E. today.Plea
se execute himPlea
se excuse Lisa for being absent.  She was sick a
nd I had her shot.Dear 
School:  Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan
. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and als
o 33.Please excuse Gl
oria from Jim today.  She is adminstrating.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. 
for a few days.  Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he
 had two teeth taken out of his face.
Carlos was absent yesterday because
 he was playing football.  He washu
rt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school toda
y because she has been bothered byve
ry close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has
 an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. 
 He was very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent y
esterday.  He had diarrhea and
his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he
 missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being.  It was
 his father's fault.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing sch
ool yesterday.  We forgot to
get the Sunday paper off the porch, an
d when we found it Monday, we
thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from F
riday.  we have to attend her
funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday becau
se she was tired.  She spent
a spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent y
esterday.  He had a cold and
could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent ye
sterday.  She was in bed with
gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was
 having gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick
 under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, bec
ause she had a fever, sore
throat, headache and upset stomach.  H
er sister was also sick, fever
and sore throat, her bother had a low 
grade fever and ached all over.
I wasn't the best either, sore throat 
and fever.  There must be
something going around, her father eve
n got hot last night.

-DeathWish