Blowing Up the New Kids

Me and the posse
Went to check out the
New Kids on the Block concert
At Saskatchewan Place.
14 000 screaming pre-adolescent
Chicks
And their parents,
Or babysitters,
Or cousins,
Or big brothers.

Don't ask me how, but
We got a gun and
A grenade
Inside the place.
Lip-syncing pinko commies,
They're gonna pay.

Three opening acts
Take their turns
Moving monotonous mouths
To monotonous music
Dancing monotonous dances.
Nah, save the bullets for

Joe, Donnie, Danny, Jordan, and Jonathan

Walk onto the stage.
The chicks scream.
Some faint.
What a waste! Thirty-six bucks to
See the NKOTB for five seconds
And then pass out.

One screaming chick
Pushes by me,
Singing "Hangin' Tough".
She screams too much, my ears ache.
The posse nods.
I got six bullets,
BANG!
'Nuther teenage bimbo becomes
Another brainless teenage bimbo.

Big finale coming up;
Pyrotechnics gonna blow;
Light the stage on fire.
I pull the pin.
I look around.
The posse nods.
With a casual flick of the wrist
The grenade floats,
Glides,
Clatters to the stage.

The look of terror on Jordan's face
When he realized that it wasn't
Another teddy bear from some chick.
"Holy Fuck!" he half sings,
Half screams.

KABLAM!
Body parts flying around.
"I touched Donnie!"
"I grabbed Joe's hand!!"
"I touched Jonathan's hair!!!"
"Danny's sweat is on me!!!!"
"I have Jordan's head!!!!!"
Even dead, they still get more
Chicks
Than me and the posse.


                -- Po