&"~$$$$$$$ .no!       duhduhduhduh, oww!duhduh..

..x%X e  d  e  n    r  u  m  o  r  s X%x..

..x%X a note from the writer..

`eden rumors' is a new addition to out little pack of goodies which will
hopefully endure for quite a while.  you'll notice a lot of this stuff may
sound silly, but in fact, some of it is true indeed.  don't think of it as
a news update on the group,  since some of it has  nothing to do with eden
at all.  in most cases you'll find issues concerning group members or only
people aquaintenced to them, and also group announcements will probably be
kept to a minimum, so.. read on.

.x% 1.  the long process of creating the very  `hush-hush' eden-tees has been
put on hold.   nos' sister, chiaroscuro,  was in the midst of putting
the finishing touches on  her final desiqns for the shirt format when
she recieved  a notice from her ink  supplyer that they had filed for
bankruptcy after  a glitch in their accounting  system,  resulting in
all funds being drained  from the companies'  accounts.  this did not
really  present  a  problem  initially,  because it was  easy to find
another ink supplier,  but once we  heard the news  that our printing
company  had burnt  down,  chiaroscuro became enraged.   silk screens
would take  far to long  and charges  are pending  after nos'  sister
nearly clawed the store owner to death.

.x% 2.  in a fit of rage,  nosferatu leaned over  the counter of his register
at his place of employment, Savemart, and throttled a customer.   the
woman apparently rang up $150 worth of merchandise and  after paying,
she then  proceeded to  inform nos  that he  had failed  to deduct  a
shopping bag full  of coupons from her charge.   although he informed
the woman she could  get her coupons  redeemed by  reporting what had
happened  to the  manager at  Customer Service,  it did  not sit well
with the woman  and she then demanded nosferatu remove the  amount of
her coupons  along with  a 25%  discount  because  of his  ignorance.
violence ensued  and nos  was last quoted  as saying " ..damn it.  We
need to close our borders.. "

.x% 3.  several anonymous members of the art group, EDEN,  are currently fac-
ing charges of  phone fraud, grand theft, mischevious conduct, defac-
ment of private and public  property, terroristic threats, disturbing
the peace,  and others.  it is suspected that the unknowns  are to be
aquitted  because of the lack of evidence  and the reasoning that the
majority  of evidence which HAS been collected is  purely speculative
and cooincidental.

.x% 4.  in his quest for  higher musical enlightenment,  the weird one (aptly
named, of course)  has started on a  trek to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of
Fame, located in the northern part of  the United States.  Because of
the  building's pyramidal  shape, TWO concluded it would be `awse" if
he climbed  the structure.   unfortunately  for  the punk-loving band
member,  one  of the  many window  tiles which make up the building's
outer walls was loose, resulting in his falling approximately 43 feet
before  landing  in a saddened heep  on top of  the Led Zeppelin  and
Janis Jopplin exhibits.   because of his small stature and quick legs
the weird one was able to escape  quickly, but the Hall of Fame's se-
curity force are  certain they  have attained  accurate photos of the
culperate.  to the  surprise of the Hall of Fame Supervisor, the only
thing visible is a blur resembling  a brown fitted cap and a teeshirt
with jeans.   private  investigators  identified  the shirt as saying
"nicotine:  choice  blend of  poly-eurothanes",  but that is all  the
group has to go on and must continue a comprehensive investigation.

.x% 5.  a local  to the 717 was rushed to Lancaster General hospital early on
in July after suffering  what has been  considered close to a stroke.
the incident took place after the victim, Jip, a young warez-ninny of
the area code,  discovered his ripped off  800 number was reported to
the phone company by people the 13 year-old had pissed off repeatedly
by making comments such as "You'll never gain my NUP!!!" to those who
had given up on  his totally unconfigured  Oblivion/2 which consisted
mostly of year-old  pirated software  that stayed  on the  boy's hard
drive after being aquired.  Jip's condition is unknown at the moment,
but is being considered unimportant by board users of the 717 code.

..x%X more events to come next month, so stick with us and you'll find out
what happens as the lives of people in the EDEN scene progress!

..x%Xnos.eden'95