ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º The Rook's º º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º ³ ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ²² ³ | ±± ±±±± ±±±±±± ±±±±± ±±±±±± ±±±±±±± ±± ±± ±± ±± ±± ±± | ú °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° °° ú Issue 0 Welcome to issue 0 of The Rook's Cyberhood. In this issue I will be writing about shit I think is cool. In future issues I will be giving out some good revenge tactics as well as ways for newer users to get onto better boards. (well, at least those are my plans.) this first issue is for AnonyMous's magazine and I will be putting future issues in it as well as distributing some of my golden gems of writing though another group called iCS. To contact me you can call my bulletin board and leave the sysop matrix feedback, or logon as new. Throbbing Gristle (817)551-5404. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------  NOTE: Since I started writing this article iCS and Anonymous have merged to create [SUiCiDE] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------   -Issue 0 - Cool stuff. OK, the first thing I want to talk about in my 'cool stuff' article is blue toilet water. I recently moved into my own appartment (another adventure) and cam to the big conclusion that blue toilet water looks cool. Right away I hopped into my pimping ride and hauled my fat ass to Target to buy some blue toilet shit. When I got there I found 2 products that would make my shit- water turn blue -- Vanish Drop-ins and 2000 Flushes. I bought a couple of the Vanish ones in the blue flavor - they also come in green but I can piss into the blue water and turn it green so that one was out- and headed home. I followed the instructions to the letter and waited....and waited. After 2 pisses and a shit I finally got my blueness to come out. it lasted about 3 weeks. That sucked. Next time I was at Target I got 2000 Flushes and tried it out. SHAZAM! it worked the first flush! I've had the 200 Flushes in the tank for what seems forever and I am still getting the lovely blueness I so require to make my life whole. I know by now you are saying to yourself - WHY DOES THIS ASSHOLE WANT BLUE WATER? well, fuckface it's because when you are drunk as hell and you take a piss Yellow and blue make green. Next thing on my agenda is Japamation (or whatever those oriental movies are called.) I've recently gotten hooked on these movies because I think that gore and cartoon characters saying "SHIT!" is cool. this is how I review them: 1. Gore content - I L-O-V-E to see heads explode and arms being ripped off. this is a BIG plus for me. 2. Art qualitiy - I am very impressed with good animation and feel more 'into it' if the artowork is good. Who wants to see some guy get his arms ripped off if all it looks like is a red fucking crayola. 3. The Plot - I'm kinda stupid so, keep it simple and VIOLENT. Ok, so in no particular order here are some flics.... ùFIST OF THE NORTH STAR: Possibly the BEST one of all time. The movie is based in the future where the   world is pretty much a driued out husk. The main character is *The Northstar* a guy that pretty much kicks ass -except for at the beginning of the movie when the Southstar kicks his ass and then he gets thrown over a cliff. After that, he whips some tail. His powers are kind like Bruce Lee's fast punching except for Bruce didn't make their heads explode. The most memorable scene is when one of the good guys is being attact by a bad guy and the good guy (Ray) ripps off the bad guys arms....very bloody... The dialogue is corny as hell but that only seems to add to the coolness of the video. The artwork isn't the best but the gore rating makes this one of my   favorites. ùThe Tank Police (pt. 1 and 2) This video is -OK- not the best but I think that most fans of animation will   enjoy watching it. Gore rating is small... Animation is good...The plot is pretty much a 'cop show' ùThe Guyver (pts. 1-6) This is another one of the classics of all time. This kid finds this bio-boosting armor and it attaches itself to him. whenever he calls for it it comes back and he is able to pretty-much kick anythings ass. The plot centers around this company (Kronos) that lost 3 Guyver units and will do ANYTHING to get them back. They are able to retrieve 1 of the suits but can't find the other 2. The same company has been able to mutate humans into some pretty cool   monsters for the Guyver to fight. The gore level on this one is very high, crushed heads and broken arms are everywhere. ùThe Guyver - Out of Control This is the cinematic version of the last 6 I talked about. It is subtitled and the plot is somewhat different. The Gore level in this one is MUCH higer than the last 6 but I would still recommend the other 6. The artwork in both of them is superb. ùKabuto This is another of the all time greats. Subtited, but that is it's only drawback. The gore level is medium but the artwork is INCREDIBLE! The plot is centered around this babe that has taken over a kinfdom and wants to kill the old kings princess. That's when Raven Tengu Kabuto comes in. The most memorable battle is when Kabuto fights Ratsubo, an elephant looking guy with a   mouth on his hand. Check this one out if you like to watch fast action sword fights. ùOutlander It sucks. ùSilent Mobius Good grapics, cool story line (these magic chicks have to kill Lucifer Hawk)   but the gore level is kinda not there.(grin) the action is good and fast, just   like your momma likes it. If you rent this one, watch it twice because it has some weird shit in it that you might not catch right off. ùThe Hobbit and Return of the King Too much friggin' singing for me...not enough blood and guts. the goriest thing that happens is when Golum bights off Frodo's finger. bla bla bla.... ùDoomed Megapolis With monsters that have dicks as tenticles and a creepy storyline I think that you'd be a fool not to watch this one. It doesn't have much of a gore content (there is SOME) but the plot makes up for it. ùAkira This is the one all the friggin' geeks seem to love. The plot is so wierd and   incoherent that I had to watch it 3 times to figure out what was going on. This is "The Wall" of Japaneese Animation. In the beginning a street biker gang is the center of attention and some good fighting goes on. after the big gang war with the clowns it pretty much gets me lost. The artwork is really good but the plot seems to muck it up. ùRobotech If you haven't seen these then you are just LOST to the world.... ùAD Police Files This is another good one for Anime fans. It is subtitled but that is it's ONLY detractor. The artwork is great, the gore is fast paced and action packed   This one was made by the same people as Bubblegum Crisis (I have not seen it) ùLensman A marrage of computer graphics and animation make this Sci-fi anime a good one for all you "trekkies" other than that I wasn't OVERLY impressed with it. I'd give it a 6 out of 10. ùBattle Angel This subtitled futuristic animation is one of the ones I re-watch often. The story comes from a graphic novel and even though I have never seen the books the movie is great. It is about this robot repair guy that makes a small girl   that can kick ass. she gets a job with her creator as a bounty hunter and that   is only the beginning of the story... ùVampire Hunter D This is one of the BEST ever. I rank it up there with Guyver 1-6 and Fist Of The North Star. It is about this half-vampire guy that hunts vampires as a living. the artwork is stunning... the gore content pleased me and you actually get to see a cartoon titty (always a plus in my book) rent this one if it is at your local store. ùGenesis Survivor Gaiarth Stage 1 & 2 This subtitled animation took me a little bit to get into but the fighting scenes are fast paced and well thought out. The movie is about a young man that gets swallowed by a giant worm and finds an old robot named Zaxon. It turns out that Zaxon is a hero from the last great war (over 100yrs ago) and has lost all his memory. All through this flick Zaxon gets new replacement parts and becomes more bad-ass. It's a great movie but only part 1 and 2 are out in the USA so I have no idea how it ends... ùIczer 1 1&2 and Iczer3 This one is just -OK- it's about this alien race that wants to take over Earth. This young girl is approached by ANOTHER alien that has a big robot (Iczer 1) that only the two of them can control. all and all, if there is another Animation you'd rather see, see it first then get around to this one. ùHarmagedon A group of Psychic people from around the world have to get together to defeat a menace from space. They do it. -Nuff said. ùThe Laughing Target. Weird shit happens to this girl. other than that there is NO GORE, no GOOD fighting, and no sex. probably a bomb, huh? ahh, it's ok... ùRiding Bean A fast-paced car driver robot-dude is the hero of this one. it is mostly what the japs consider an action comedy, but I'd have to say I liked it. It's not the DEEPEST animation you could watch but it is sure worth the rental. ùBurn Up Chick-cops. Blood. Drugs. what more can you possibly need? ùDagger of Kamui I think this one was made by the same people as Kabuto. I liked this one a lot. It has some good fiughting, lots of "ninja action" and even a cameo by Mark Twain. The plot centers around a young boy and his search for his father' s treasure. The bad guys are a group of evil shinobi that also want the treasure . this movie is kinda long but it is a must-see. ùDevil Hunter Yoko This little girl finds out she's from a long line of devil hunters in this subtitled animation. The action is kinda cheesy (at least it matched the dialogue!) The best line from the movie is "Gee, I didn't know the Principal was into S&M!" other than that, skip this one unless everything else is rented. ùVampire Princess Miyui A cool devil-hunter type of animation but this time the devil hunter is a young girl vampire and her demon companion. I'd recommend this subtitled piece of work to anyone that liked Vampire Hunter D. Next I would like to review something that has exploded on to the radio in the last few years - Talk Radio. Most talk radio hosts just take the right wing conservitive side or they play Johnny Carson and act like a REAL host and suck up to writers and other losers that can't get on to REAL talk shows like David Letterman or Jay Leno. The biggest guy on the block is pumpkinhead Rush Linbaugh. He is the Republican  party's suck boy. Pretty much all he does is bitch about the scene in politics. His TV show audience is filled with what is called "Dittoheads" what they should be called is "emptyheads" because they are on that bastard's nuts with everything he says... The number two guy (and my favorite) is Howard Stern. Howard is an arrogant, self-promoting small minded jerk that is definatly one of the most original thinkers on the planet. He is labled a "shock Jock" but most of his fans will tell you he is a whole other level above that. He has put out several videos and also wrote a best selling book that is being made into a movie. If you happen to come across one of his videos and have never seen Stern, rent it and get ready to see more titty and weirdness than anything else in the video store   The next radio talk show host is the most entertaining DICKHEAD that you can ever listen to on the air (if you can stomatch him...) Bob Larson has some of the most interesting conversations... once I even heard him exorcise out a demon named 'Ned' out of this one kid. people like Glenn Danzig and the writer of The Poor Man's James Bond will often call in to give this religeous fanatic a little hell. the biggest drawback to his show is the way he is ALWAYS making claims that if he doesn't get 4 people to send in $223.17 within the next hour his show will forever be taken off the air... I'd love to get some of this guys  videos becuase, even though they are supposed to be anti-rock&roll, anti-drugs anti-satanism, anti-everything they have some cool footage of all this stuff. Well, that's about it for the reviews of cool stuff in this episode.... Next time I will be writing an article on non-conventional methods of revenge and anarchy. it seems like all the a/r text files are all the same shit. well, I say, tye can blow it out their ass. well, I guess that's it for now. if you would like to contact me you can call Throbbing Gristle [817]551.5404 and either logon new or leave matrix feedback. I can also be found at the [SUiCiDE] HQ's eveywhere. Take it easy, and Peace on you. L8ron, The Rook [SUiCiDE] SAUCE00CyberHood Issue #1 The Rook SUiCiDE 1994102075P