FiRE PRESENTS MUMBLINGS OFF FIDONET:
                          Intel--The Furnace Inside.

New from Intel - The Pentium(tm) Space Heater, $799.95!
Pentium computer; Housing with central heating built in.
Intel--The computer outside.
The newest accessory for your Pentium(R):  a gallon of Prestone(R)!
Pentium is a CHU (Central HEATING Unit!)
Pentium Defined:  Umpteenth generation of the 4004! 
Pentium Defined:  A CPU chip aspiring to be a blast furnace.
Yep, the Pentium is the hottest thing going!  I just burnt myself on one!
"You've got a power source inside"-Intel "BZZT! That's HEAT source!"
"The Pentium gives programs new spark!"-Intel. "And burn your system?"
You don't need a power-on light for a Pentium!  It glows!
Pentium Laptop Defined:  Impossible.
"The Pentium does anything you ask of it."-Intel "Except cool itself."
"Pentium breathes new life into programs"  "Can you say 'Firestorm'"?
"Yep, the Pentium is the hottest thing out there!  Mine caught on fire!"
"Yep, the Pentium is one hot chip!  So hot, it raised a blister!"
What does the Pentium give you?  Third-degree burns!
What does the Pentium give you no other chip does?  Blisters!
How do you tell that a Pentium is the hottest thing?  Use a thermometer!