DONUT HOLE AND VENDETTA PRESENT A FiRE PRODUCTION:
                        You Know You're A Leech When...

* you know you're a leech when you start reducing the size of your swap file
  just to get room for your ZIPs.
* you know you're a leech when you reach the file limit for your directories.
* you know you're a leech when you start using a ram disk for storing ZIPs.
* you know you're a leech when you start seriously considering a tape or worm
  drive to store your zips.
* you know you're a leech when you go to kmart for blue-light specials on
  diskettes.
* you know you're a leech when you lose space installing stacker.
* you know you're a leech when you use pkpress and save several megabytes.
* you know you're a leech when you today's zips fill up your 250 meg tape
  backup.
* you know you're a leech when you start using proprietary compression
  programs (uc2, arj, and lharc).
* you know you're a leech when these proprietary compression programs actually
  make a difference.
* you know you're a leech when you download something and you don't even know
  what it is.
* you know you're a leech when you have several versions of the same products.
* you know you're a leech when you start a download and then go eat dinner.
* you know you're a leech when you ask pkware for the source code to pkzip.
* you know you're a leech when you start hand-tuning pkzip for better
  compression ratios.
* you know you're a leech when you don't have enough room to compile your
  enhanced pkzip.
* you know you're a leech when you start complaing because ymodem/g isn't fast
  enough for you.
* you know you're a leech when you start using proprietary transfer protocols
  (jmodem and fmodem).
* you know you're a leech when you press escape before your download is done.
* you know you're a leech when you break your piggy bank to donate to bbses.
* you know you're a leech when you start calling you downloads 'leeches'.
* you know you're a leech when you start getting 'unknown error number 101' in
  qmodem because of insufficient disk space.
* you know you're a leech when you start storing you zips on friend's hard
  disks.
* you know you're a leech when you set up a bbs just to get wares from the
  users.
* you know you're a leech when you start a mass-download before family
  vacations.
* you know you're a leech when you upload files just so you can download them
  and then upload more and download (called upload-download).
* you know you're a leech when you upload-download for several hours.
* you know you're a leech when you start using this file for upload credits.
* you know you're a leech when you start making files like these for upload
  credits.
* you know you're a leech when you are offended by this file.
* you know you're a leech when you make up a fake affiliate just to get better
  access.
* you know you're a leech when you flag *.*.
* you when you're a leech when you call companies and ask for demo disks to
  back up your wares.
* you know you're a leech when you can't play any of your wares because you
  have to leech more...
* you know you're a leech when you start reading this file file for new ideas.